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Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2019 15:34:24 GMT -5
Because nobody like Pasha, give him hugs.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2019 8:59:02 GMT -5
Because nobody like Pasha, give him hugs. MUCH HUGS AND LOVE FOR RUSSIAN CUDDLE BEAR Trying to get at you on Discord to give you a score. The balance in everything is there. The mix of CD and shoot, relevance and creativity is all there in even layers. I never read a PASHA promo that I didn't like. PASHA in of himself is such a unique character that it's almost a guaranteed 3.5 in creativity just for showing up. You almost have to try to make PASHA just like everyone else. You're definitely in the right direction. If you're curious as to how you could get a higher score, I'd say it boils down to giving us more of the same. Not in quantity or quality, just that one little hump to get over that pushes you into the highest echelon. Something to motivate PASHA, something to contrast PASHA against to accentuate his eccentric self, or just something to make us go "oh man, this wee PASHA really went and did it!" Whether that's a storyline you craft on your own, or you work with someone towards it (wink wink) I believe that just giving PASHA some type of specific direction or goal will be what you need to level up from great to fuckin' A. The general character of PASHA is probably one of Trinity Wrestling's most recognizable gimmicks. There will always be a place in our hearts for the big Russian bear. If you want to carve out a larger section to get some stretching room for them long legs, all you need is just a little motivation. Glad to see you back, please don't leave us again <3
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Post by Frequent Flyer Miles on Sept 29, 2019 15:11:18 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2019 16:07:57 GMT -5
I need several moments to recuperate first...
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Post by 5BW Owner on Sept 29, 2019 20:31:44 GMT -5
OK yo, you gave me my stuff but because I couldn't hear well with the call. Lay it on the floor for the Judge
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Post by Lissie Hope on Sept 30, 2019 12:31:21 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2019 6:43:45 GMT -5
I got y'all (Miles/KPN) already, so you're good to go heading into the PPV. 1K does stifle you a bit when it comes to a balanced scorecard. You chose to focus mostly on your shoot, which anyone familiar with your work knows you excel in that area. But when you only give me like, ten lines of CD.... ...and I'm into it more than I am a lot of people's 1K's worth... ....THAT'S FUCKING TALENT. You did use your shoot to build your CD, and your CD is what in turn builds your shoots. If not this promo, the next. With a fraction of the words everyone else gets, you put together a searing hot shoot combined with gripping storytelling that got the point across with few words. And most of all, you kept it relevant to the ring. Yeah, you'd be god damn deadly in regular competition here. The only thing you're missing is the room to build more stuff. I believe you would have been able to grab yourself an extra half-point each in creativity and in development, had you had just a few dozen more words. You might not need the whole 2K or 3K, but I would be excited as all get out to what you could do with it. Relevance/Creativity/Development/Shoot 4.5/4.0/4.0/5.0 17.5
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Post by 5BW Owner on Oct 11, 2019 22:59:47 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Oct 14, 2019 8:26:53 GMT -5
You already received a score from me, and since RPing is still active I won't publicize it. But may all of Trinity see this: YOU PERFECTED THE ART OF RELEVANCE IN THIS PROMO. Every letter of every word pushed either what happened at Sin on the 1st, or what will happen on the 15th at the PPV. This is how to max out relevance, folks. The CD portion felt natural, even within the confines of a scripted scene between two people. The shoot, which you felt to be substandard, actually nailed everything it needed to. A little bit of smack, but a lot more content regarding you and your mindset going into the match. This was honestly a very fucking solid piece, with few complaints. It may not have been the most goundbreaking storylines with never before seen dynamics...but it's perfectly fine to do something that has been done before, when you do it right as you did with this RP. You know the numbers, and you know how to get them higher. Take a risk. Don't be afraid to give us something different, you have the basics down and your overall approach is very effective. All you need to push you into another echelon is just a little bit of drama (not that kind) or something to tug at the audience's emotions; start to really suck us into the character. I think the Trapson stuff is a great beginning to this, and I'm really looking forward to seeing what you do with this going forward.
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Post by Frequent Flyer Miles on Oct 14, 2019 13:36:03 GMT -5
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Post by Adelaide Ainsworth on Oct 14, 2019 14:47:25 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Oct 14, 2019 14:53:19 GMT -5
OH BABY BABY HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT YOU WOULD DROP SOME FIRE OH MAYBE MAYB-fuck that I am not doing the whole fucking review as a parody to Britney Spears. But you SHOWED ME what relevance SHOULD BE! You also had a great balance of shoot and CD, telling me WHAT I NEED TO KNOW OH BECAUSE This is going to be fucking weird, but work with me. It'll make sense. The ability you have to write a fucking good CD scene will never get old. No matter how many times I read it over the years. A lot of it is relevant to the week-to-week story, but when you tie together some long-term stuff it gets even better. And the way you have Miles shoot as if he's just talking to a friend, almost like the camera is just someone he's known since school...amazing writing, brother. Great shit. You got your score via Discord already, as it's an active RP period I can't let that go public.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 14, 2019 15:05:50 GMT -5
Score via Discord, you already know. To find your balance, you must first find your opposite. If one side of the balance scale says 16 pounds, we know we need 16 pounds of counterweight. You know what your sixteen is with Addy over the last few weeks, with her violent tendencies and sex addiction. Pretty sure there's some blow involved somewhere too. To find her balance, there has to be some kind of opposite anti-Addy. Where that may be, I'm not at liberty to say. But you have to find a contrast against your current vision of Adelaide before you can shape her future. Maybe there's an element in the past, or an outer influence in the present, or someone she works with in the future. Your call. I don't write this shit, I just draw cartoons and shitpost in the server. You're different. Adelaide is different, and I fucking love it. I love this shit, especially when you have subtle undertones of omre complex story lying underneath all of the sex, violence and swearing. Once you find this balance, you may be able to evolve Adelaide into something beyond just tits and a hammer. (Even though I'm enjoying the tits and hammer gimmick, LOL!)
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Post by Crusader Ghostwood on Oct 14, 2019 15:13:30 GMT -5
Would you be willing to check out the CD I posted "Son of a Preacher Man"?
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Post by Deleted on Oct 14, 2019 15:31:15 GMT -5
Would you be willing to check out the CD I posted "Son of a Preacher Man"? Since this isn't for a match, I won't put this through the grading machine. I'll just do a legit response/reactions post. Your dialogue feels natural, like a normal conversation. I know I say that often, but it's seriously something I can't stand in an RP...where it feels like the characters are reading from a script. I know we're essentially reading a script in essence, but that doesn't mean you still can't make us see this shit in our minds rather than force imagination. So you've definitely got that part under control. So now we go to the substance. Gotta have something to talk about to have a scene where characters talk, and you provided that. At times, it was obvious you were trying to cram in as much backstory as you could. You still got the message across, but if this were for a match I would have dinged you half a point in creativity. Just a heads up. I'm really wanting to see you shoot, or cut the promo if you're gonna go the facey-don't-talk-shit route. I believe your delivery of the lines is good, flows right, doesn't feel scripted, and you know how to find the point and get to it. I greatly await your debut, which is probably gonna be on the 22nd. Good luck, boss!
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