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Post by Deleted on Aug 24, 2019 9:54:27 GMT -5
That's right, if you want it I will slam it on the desk right here and right now.
Full RP feedback, live and in living color! Ask and ye shall receive!
NOTE: I am only 25% of the decision making process when it comes to who goes over and who's going under. So please do not take my word as the end all be all of your placement in this company.
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Post by Benjamin John Beaufort on Aug 26, 2019 18:41:44 GMT -5
Yo, Trapson, let me hear those thoughts!
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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2019 19:29:00 GMT -5
With pleasure.
First off, I loved how you had the whole RP appear as a series of on-screen scenes.
Second off, I loved the story arc behind your character.
Third, you're using the Internet boards to their full potential and then using those interactions in your RP.
Finally, all of the shit you wrote to do all that was entertaining, interesting, funny and emotion-provoking all in one.
This was one of my favorite pieces I've graded so far in Trinity.
Using our scorecard: R/C/D/S T R-Relevancy C-Creativity D-Development S-Shoot T-Total
I have you at 5.0/4.0/4.5/5.0 18.5
I can't think of one single solitary gripe or flaw to poke at in this RP. I'm smart enough to know not to expect the best scene of the movie to be the very first scene I watch, and I don't want to try and direct yo towards any direction. Just keep on doin' what you do, my friend. Primo RP!
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Post by Benjamin John Beaufort on Aug 26, 2019 19:42:04 GMT -5
Thank you for the kind words, Trapson. I'm glad you enjoy it. This is a new character I've just recently created. I was hoping I could make something decent for the first RP.
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GC
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Posts: 21
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Post by GC on Aug 26, 2019 22:32:27 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Aug 27, 2019 6:41:47 GMT -5
You asked for it, uwu. 4.0/4.0/3.0/4.5 15.5 I know you told me time constraints and real life tried to stop you from dropping what you wanted to drop. I can't let that information prevent me from giving you an impartial score. You did not do traditional character development, but still got a few shots in there as to who Graham is. And as always, your shoot parts delivered precisely what they're meant to. You kept that shit wrestling-related, and still found ways to branch off from a typical cookie-cutter promo or CD scene. You gave me shit that's different than what everyone else is doing, and that's always my favorite kind of stuff to read. AND IF YOU WOULD JUST GET A NEW JOB THAT ACTUALLY GIVES YOU TIME OFF, YOU'D HAVE THE TIME TO BE WORLD CHAMP
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GC
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Posts: 21
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Post by GC on Aug 27, 2019 13:33:32 GMT -5
AND IF YOU WOULD JUST GET A NEW JOB THAT ACTUALLY GIVES YOU TIME OFF, YOU'D HAVE THE TIME TO BE WORLD CHAMP You gonna pay my bills? Lol
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Post by Deleted on Sept 4, 2019 18:19:19 GMT -5
I’m curious as to your thoughts on the shoot only pieces and the more long-form RP I just submitted for the battle royal.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2019 8:37:50 GMT -5
I got you at some point today, will edit this post to add said.
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Post by Frequent Flyer Miles on Sept 5, 2019 16:09:08 GMT -5
Go on, give me my 12/20 or whatever in front of everyone.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2019 7:02:13 GMT -5
I’m curious as to your thoughts on the shoot only pieces and the more long-form RP I just submitted for the battle royal. Done - but a heads up to you and to the whole roster: WE DO NOT SCORE SHOOT SHOWDOWNS. The reason is pretty simple. Our scorecard has equal categories for character development and shoot - and here is no CD in a pure shoot showdown. Therefore, we just do basic feedback and choose a winner old-school-style. As for your shoot, JESUS DICKS THAT WAS POWERFUL. Your Shoot was exactly what I want to see and what I look for - not just for the showdown, but shoot in general. It fits his character to rip into his opponent, but Frank makes it clear what he's ripping on. You could have easily went the low road and done the whole "Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" gimmick - but you didn't have to, because Frank Lowe doesn't need sensationalised media hype to hate a motherfucker. I'm making up a scoring system for shoot showdowns. You receive 5 out of 5 gloves, my friend! Now to your battle royal promo. I had to check twice AND ask Jay to do the same. You made 1,995 words feel like twice that. You packed a LOT into this scene. The CD was, simply put, top fucking notch. (And also VERY WELL WITHIN THE BORDERS OF ACCEPTABLE. If anyone wants to use touchy subjects in their writing, this promo is a wonderful benchmark for where the line should be drawn.) My only gripe, since I have to have one, is that you did not present the final scene as an on-camera or incoprorate some type of address to the fans. Especially after reading the Shoot Showdown piece, knowing you have the chops to cut a good promo. I WANT to hate Frank Lowe after reading that, but the battle royal promo made me feel almost sympathetic to him. I don't know if it was your intent to show that sliver of humanity and relatability to him, but either way dude that was one hell of a RP to start my day and I'm not about to say otherwise. 3.5/4.0/5.0/2.5 - 15.0 To me personally, the fact you hit 75% with little to no shoot or promo is a clear sign of how fucking good you are, my dude. Don't stop believin'!
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2019 7:26:55 GMT -5
Go on, give me my 17/20 or whatever in front of everyone. Done. 4.5/4.0/4.5/4.0 17.0 The only thing that held you back here was some of the K-Dawg/J-Man stuff before your promo. And that's more personal tastes than technical errors. Everything else fit right in. Great introduction, great character development right out of the gate, and awesome shoot. Things got said and did when they needed to be. Selling the fact this is clearly a one-time appearance (which is code for "he'll be signed eventually" lol) only helped make it better. The confidence, the disgust with fixing fights to make money, it's all right where it needs to be. The pieces are there, my dude, and all you gotta do is keep on putting them together. I know that the balance of shoot and CD feels like a tightrope covered in Crisco, but you did fucking great at that balancing act in this RP. I await your vehement disagreement on Facebook/Discord
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2019 9:13:29 GMT -5
I’m curious as to your thoughts on the shoot only pieces and the more long-form RP I just submitted for the battle royal. Done - but a heads up to you and to the whole roster: WE DO NOT SCORE SHOOT SHOWDOWNS. The reason is pretty simple. Our scorecard has equal categories for character development and shoot - and here is no CD in a pure shoot showdown. Therefore, we just do basic feedback and choose a winner old-school-style. As for your shoot, JESUS DICKS THAT WAS POWERFUL. Your Shoot was exactly what I want to see and what I look for - not just for the showdown, but shoot in general. It fits his character to rip into his opponent, but Frank makes it clear what he's ripping on. You could have easily went the low road and done the whole "Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" gimmick - but you didn't have to, because Frank Lowe doesn't need sensationalised media hype to hate a motherfucker. I'm making up a scoring system for shoot showdowns. You receive 5 out of 5 gloves, my friend! Now to your battle royal promo. I had to check twice AND ask Jay to do the same. You made 1,995 words feel like twice that. You packed a LOT into this scene. The CD was, simply put, top fucking notch. (And also VERY WELL WITHIN THE BORDERS OF ACCEPTABLE. If anyone wants to use touchy subjects in their writing, this promo is a wonderful benchmark for where the line should be drawn.) My only gripe, since I have to have one, is that you did not present the final scene as an on-camera or incoprorate some type of address to the fans. Especially after reading the Shoot Showdown piece, knowing you have the chops to cut a good promo. I WANT to hate Frank Lowe after reading that, but the battle royal promo made me feel almost sympathetic to him. I don't know if it was your intent to show that sliver of humanity and relatability to him, but either way dude that was one hell of a RP to start my day and I'm not about to say otherwise. 3.5/4.0/5.0/2.5 - 15.0 To me personally, the fact you hit 75% with little to no shoot or promo is a clear sign of how fucking good you are, my dude. Don't stop believin'! I'm glad you're diggin' on the shoot I've been offering. The 500 words of straight shoot thing is a very interesting challenge that I've enjoyed taking a stab at. If y'all need that more traditional RP shoot to be a more "on camera" thing, I can make that happen for sure. Easy fix. Thanks!
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Post by "Action" Jack Jackson on Sept 7, 2019 9:00:25 GMT -5
Go for it
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Post by Samuel "Scum Fuck" Flowers on Sept 7, 2019 19:22:28 GMT -5
Fuck me up
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