Post by Aphrodite IX on May 24, 2021 22:23:11 GMT -5
I want this.
That’s a new thought for me. A magic new idea that came down from the heavens and landed squarely in my lap. See, I came to Revo thinking that I would have some fun with it. Break a leg, an arm, maybe my neck if I was lucky. I thought that if I pushed myself hard enough for long enough and took enough chances, one of these days my luck would run out. When adrenaline is the only thing you feel much of anymore, it’s not the result that justifies the risk so much.
Then everything exploded.
Literally.
I walked into a big ol’ show in my third match and came within inches of dethroning the champion. It would have been so great, right? A total rookie just strolling in and owning the place. I had my ideas about what I’d come up against with Miss Chelsea and…well, I’ll save the love letter for when I get to stand across from her again, but to say she showed me something amazing would be understating it.
This industry is ridiculous.
The titles, the grandeur, the hubris. All of these people thinking they’re dangerous because they can put me on a mat, all the while not knowing that I will put them in the hospital just as soon. There’s a ridiculous aspect to all of this which left me honestly wondering what my place here could look like. But then, Chelsea went and blew me up and honestly it was like a vision. If that’s how far people will go for that little hunk of gold, then there’s not a single thing in the whole world that could matter more.
So here we are, another Dweck later on the path to the title and I have this moment where I consider what I’d do if I lost. It wasn’t something that really mattered all that much before, you know? I’d come in, do something terribly reckless, get paid, then clock out and find some other form of self destruction to occupy myself. But now…now I need to get back to Chelsea again. I need to find out just how far she’ll go to keep that title around her waist. I need to find out if she lost, what would she do to me to get it back?
I want to face her again.
To do that…well, I guess it means going through each and every other person with the same intentions. Which, I suppose means actually having to…hell, be a pro wrestler. It may surprise you all to learn that I did train to get here…with one of the best, even. Former FTW champion. So when it comes down to it, do I know how to do a lockup and not just fly everywhere? Sure. Can I actually pin someone instead of just falling on them from on high? Absolutely. I’ve spent the past couple months running through most of the competitors in front of me while on autopilot. Giving me a real reason to cut you down?
That’s something to get excited about.
Aph hated watching tape.
Whenever Eden had made her do it in training, she had felt her eyes glaze over and her mind turn to mush. Eden emphasized that only by preparing for your opponents could you truly be ready for whatever they bring to you. Aph felt as though she’d been handling just fine to this point…but there was that underlying need there. The hunger to face her again. It gave her a motivation that she hadn’t had beforehand.
If facing the World Champion again meant being World Champion caliber…
Well, Aph could watch a little tape.
There were too many people to consider. A range of potential that spanned far and wide. She knew what she could expect from her stablemates, which gave her a slight advantage in that regard. Jason Ryan had plenty of tape although the story it told was inconsistent and riddled with incongruities. Jessie Lee was someone she had already seen in action. She trusted Sora to deal with Prince, so that left…Silver and Lockheart.
Well, she’d come to them if it came to it. The combination of substances inside her left her feeling drowsy and ready to let the void have her for another night. She closed her eyes, lights spinning beneath each lid until in the sharpest detail, she remembered the explosion. She remembered the feeling of her body betraying her and Chelsea crawling on top and that desire to keep going…keep pushing just a little further…
Aph sat back up.
She had more work to do.
If I’m going to face the best, I’ve got to beat the best.
That starts with Jason Ryan and man…what can I say about him? Former world champion in APW, ran their top guy out for a while…he came back with a vengeance, but still no small feat. The man rode the whole way right to the end and was frequently a contender for all kinds of belts. On paper, I’d be screwed right?
But there’s that moment of weakness. The fight for identity…it’s something I can understand Jason, really and truly. After all, do you think I was born with this name? Something awful happens and you reinvent yourself. I get it better than most. But you…you just kept doing it, huh? The Scourge, the big return, the Bane, now this drive for acknowledgement…you keep trying to become someone different. Someone who isn’t the Jason Ryan that lost to Damon Warrens over and over again. Someone that didn’t threaten and act out in rage only to fail once again to reach the summit. You solved the equation of yourself once and you keep trying to find out how to do it again.
It won’t be here though.
This Jason Ryan?
This will be another Jason Ryan who fails.
Then who do I face? Mags and Sierra are sides of a coin. Both out here trying to stake their claim on a place in the world. A couple weeks earlier and we’d have been scrambling for position. But I’ve already been to the summit. I was a coin flip away from becoming the new champion of Sin. I’ve already walked the path you’re trying to find footing on.
Both of you are so…similar. You’re out here playing your roles. Maggie wants to be a success in two different worlds before she’s really done anything in one. Sierra…well, you said it yourself didn’t you? You want to be the bad guy. You’re walking out here and talking up what a villain you are because what? You think it makes you interesting to be willing to do the things that other people won’t? You think a little shift in your morality is enough to shake the rest of us?
You’re both so limited by the boxes you put yourselves in. You’re going to end up fading to the background, forgotten like Jalen Prince is going to be. Footnotes in someone else’s story because you were so busy trying to make yourselves fit the role that you let the role become anecdotal. There’s a future where the two of you could be great…but I think you need to figure out how to be you first, and that’s coming from someone who made herself up.
Jessie Lee…I feel like you shouldn’t even be here. Say what you will about how you snuck by my boys last month, you pulled it off and walked out with the title which…I guess that’s the whole point, huh? So here you stand holding one belt and having then beaten the champion of your show…why exactly do you have to jump through all these hoops? You should have been in that little unearned grudge match for the belt instead of having to fight your way through seven more people to get a shot at it.
I guess you’re just happy to take it as it comes, huh? Everyone talks about fighting champions as if it’s some great virtue, but it’s just…disappointing to me. You had everything you needed to walk up to Khaos and just stake your claim to his belt the same way that Cerise did. You could have used all that fighting spirit to kick her ass and get her out of your way, yet here you are toiling and fighting to get to the same spot. All that and you could end up with no shot. Or end up with someone like my good friend Jin beating you and calling their shot at you afterwards.
You have this sense of honor. What does it get you though? You’re walked on, taken for granted, and passed by. You let other people get the shots that should be yours. You give up the chances that could have been, all because your ego lets you believe that the hard work will pay off for you. But when Jin has left you laying…or hell, failing that when Sora or myself leave you staring at the lights…how much further do you think it’ll get you. Being tough is something, but if it were enough…well, I’d be Sin Champ and taking the night off right now.
You’re going to keep on fighting…
Then someone else will take the glory.
In the end though, this is going to come down…to our little found family.
I’ll bet no one thought we’d be standing here making up nearly half the bracket. We came off DangerZone with sweep losses, you two in your first match in the company. But Jin and I cleared the Dweckage while Sora showed the Left Hand just why all that hubris wasn’t worth as much when it came down to it. We still owe some receipts on that one, which I promise will be cashed. But as Sin ended, we made up almost half of the field…each and every one of the UnStable made it in.
Now here we are, ready to do it all again. Only this time there’s no winning for all of us. We’re here together because we stand together. I had a crazy idea that I could jump off things for a living and you two decided that was a crazy path you could follow me here on. When it comes down to it though, we agreed…we’d go the whole way, even if it meant making each other bleed.
Jin. You’re a hell of a fighter. We haven’t really scrapped since we were kids. You’ve got this sense of responsibility that I never really got, but I respect the hell out of it. Sora too…I thought you were, I don’t know…more like me, I guess? Here for the risks. But you saw a bully who should have beaten the hell out of you and you stood up and made them eat shit for it.
Both of you are good people.
…but I’m not.
I have a goal and it is selfish and it is cruel and I will do absolutely anything to achieve it. If that means making my friends bleed…if that means crashing down on you from as high in the air as I can get, regardless of how much you’ll break…that’s what I have to do. I need to get back to her again. I need to take things just that little bit further.
You came here for me.
You fought for me.
When the time comes…
Bleed for me.
That’s a new thought for me. A magic new idea that came down from the heavens and landed squarely in my lap. See, I came to Revo thinking that I would have some fun with it. Break a leg, an arm, maybe my neck if I was lucky. I thought that if I pushed myself hard enough for long enough and took enough chances, one of these days my luck would run out. When adrenaline is the only thing you feel much of anymore, it’s not the result that justifies the risk so much.
Then everything exploded.
Literally.
I walked into a big ol’ show in my third match and came within inches of dethroning the champion. It would have been so great, right? A total rookie just strolling in and owning the place. I had my ideas about what I’d come up against with Miss Chelsea and…well, I’ll save the love letter for when I get to stand across from her again, but to say she showed me something amazing would be understating it.
This industry is ridiculous.
The titles, the grandeur, the hubris. All of these people thinking they’re dangerous because they can put me on a mat, all the while not knowing that I will put them in the hospital just as soon. There’s a ridiculous aspect to all of this which left me honestly wondering what my place here could look like. But then, Chelsea went and blew me up and honestly it was like a vision. If that’s how far people will go for that little hunk of gold, then there’s not a single thing in the whole world that could matter more.
So here we are, another Dweck later on the path to the title and I have this moment where I consider what I’d do if I lost. It wasn’t something that really mattered all that much before, you know? I’d come in, do something terribly reckless, get paid, then clock out and find some other form of self destruction to occupy myself. But now…now I need to get back to Chelsea again. I need to find out just how far she’ll go to keep that title around her waist. I need to find out if she lost, what would she do to me to get it back?
I want to face her again.
To do that…well, I guess it means going through each and every other person with the same intentions. Which, I suppose means actually having to…hell, be a pro wrestler. It may surprise you all to learn that I did train to get here…with one of the best, even. Former FTW champion. So when it comes down to it, do I know how to do a lockup and not just fly everywhere? Sure. Can I actually pin someone instead of just falling on them from on high? Absolutely. I’ve spent the past couple months running through most of the competitors in front of me while on autopilot. Giving me a real reason to cut you down?
That’s something to get excited about.
Aph hated watching tape.
Whenever Eden had made her do it in training, she had felt her eyes glaze over and her mind turn to mush. Eden emphasized that only by preparing for your opponents could you truly be ready for whatever they bring to you. Aph felt as though she’d been handling just fine to this point…but there was that underlying need there. The hunger to face her again. It gave her a motivation that she hadn’t had beforehand.
If facing the World Champion again meant being World Champion caliber…
Well, Aph could watch a little tape.
There were too many people to consider. A range of potential that spanned far and wide. She knew what she could expect from her stablemates, which gave her a slight advantage in that regard. Jason Ryan had plenty of tape although the story it told was inconsistent and riddled with incongruities. Jessie Lee was someone she had already seen in action. She trusted Sora to deal with Prince, so that left…Silver and Lockheart.
Well, she’d come to them if it came to it. The combination of substances inside her left her feeling drowsy and ready to let the void have her for another night. She closed her eyes, lights spinning beneath each lid until in the sharpest detail, she remembered the explosion. She remembered the feeling of her body betraying her and Chelsea crawling on top and that desire to keep going…keep pushing just a little further…
Aph sat back up.
She had more work to do.
If I’m going to face the best, I’ve got to beat the best.
That starts with Jason Ryan and man…what can I say about him? Former world champion in APW, ran their top guy out for a while…he came back with a vengeance, but still no small feat. The man rode the whole way right to the end and was frequently a contender for all kinds of belts. On paper, I’d be screwed right?
But there’s that moment of weakness. The fight for identity…it’s something I can understand Jason, really and truly. After all, do you think I was born with this name? Something awful happens and you reinvent yourself. I get it better than most. But you…you just kept doing it, huh? The Scourge, the big return, the Bane, now this drive for acknowledgement…you keep trying to become someone different. Someone who isn’t the Jason Ryan that lost to Damon Warrens over and over again. Someone that didn’t threaten and act out in rage only to fail once again to reach the summit. You solved the equation of yourself once and you keep trying to find out how to do it again.
It won’t be here though.
This Jason Ryan?
This will be another Jason Ryan who fails.
Then who do I face? Mags and Sierra are sides of a coin. Both out here trying to stake their claim on a place in the world. A couple weeks earlier and we’d have been scrambling for position. But I’ve already been to the summit. I was a coin flip away from becoming the new champion of Sin. I’ve already walked the path you’re trying to find footing on.
Both of you are so…similar. You’re out here playing your roles. Maggie wants to be a success in two different worlds before she’s really done anything in one. Sierra…well, you said it yourself didn’t you? You want to be the bad guy. You’re walking out here and talking up what a villain you are because what? You think it makes you interesting to be willing to do the things that other people won’t? You think a little shift in your morality is enough to shake the rest of us?
You’re both so limited by the boxes you put yourselves in. You’re going to end up fading to the background, forgotten like Jalen Prince is going to be. Footnotes in someone else’s story because you were so busy trying to make yourselves fit the role that you let the role become anecdotal. There’s a future where the two of you could be great…but I think you need to figure out how to be you first, and that’s coming from someone who made herself up.
Jessie Lee…I feel like you shouldn’t even be here. Say what you will about how you snuck by my boys last month, you pulled it off and walked out with the title which…I guess that’s the whole point, huh? So here you stand holding one belt and having then beaten the champion of your show…why exactly do you have to jump through all these hoops? You should have been in that little unearned grudge match for the belt instead of having to fight your way through seven more people to get a shot at it.
I guess you’re just happy to take it as it comes, huh? Everyone talks about fighting champions as if it’s some great virtue, but it’s just…disappointing to me. You had everything you needed to walk up to Khaos and just stake your claim to his belt the same way that Cerise did. You could have used all that fighting spirit to kick her ass and get her out of your way, yet here you are toiling and fighting to get to the same spot. All that and you could end up with no shot. Or end up with someone like my good friend Jin beating you and calling their shot at you afterwards.
You have this sense of honor. What does it get you though? You’re walked on, taken for granted, and passed by. You let other people get the shots that should be yours. You give up the chances that could have been, all because your ego lets you believe that the hard work will pay off for you. But when Jin has left you laying…or hell, failing that when Sora or myself leave you staring at the lights…how much further do you think it’ll get you. Being tough is something, but if it were enough…well, I’d be Sin Champ and taking the night off right now.
You’re going to keep on fighting…
Then someone else will take the glory.
In the end though, this is going to come down…to our little found family.
I’ll bet no one thought we’d be standing here making up nearly half the bracket. We came off DangerZone with sweep losses, you two in your first match in the company. But Jin and I cleared the Dweckage while Sora showed the Left Hand just why all that hubris wasn’t worth as much when it came down to it. We still owe some receipts on that one, which I promise will be cashed. But as Sin ended, we made up almost half of the field…each and every one of the UnStable made it in.
Now here we are, ready to do it all again. Only this time there’s no winning for all of us. We’re here together because we stand together. I had a crazy idea that I could jump off things for a living and you two decided that was a crazy path you could follow me here on. When it comes down to it though, we agreed…we’d go the whole way, even if it meant making each other bleed.
Jin. You’re a hell of a fighter. We haven’t really scrapped since we were kids. You’ve got this sense of responsibility that I never really got, but I respect the hell out of it. Sora too…I thought you were, I don’t know…more like me, I guess? Here for the risks. But you saw a bully who should have beaten the hell out of you and you stood up and made them eat shit for it.
Both of you are good people.
…but I’m not.
I have a goal and it is selfish and it is cruel and I will do absolutely anything to achieve it. If that means making my friends bleed…if that means crashing down on you from as high in the air as I can get, regardless of how much you’ll break…that’s what I have to do. I need to get back to her again. I need to take things just that little bit further.
You came here for me.
You fought for me.
When the time comes…
Bleed for me.