Post by Frequent Flyer Miles on Jan 11, 2021 17:19:16 GMT -5
Premier Inn Glasgow Pacific Quay
Glasgow, Scotland
January 11, 2021 8.51 Local Time
'Hey Teagan...'
'What---DON'T say it, Miles!'
'You know what?'
'I'm serious, Miles.Don't say it.'
'OK, but you know what, though?'
'Miles---I'm warning you. I'm packing heat here. This stuff we're eating? This came from inside a sheep's stomach. If you don't want to end up with sheep stomach juice all over the front of that nice new jacket...don't. Say. It..'
'I don't think this was actually in a sheep's stomach. Not when it was, like, alive...'
'Whatever, Iz. He gets the point.'
She's right. I do get it.
I'm not letting it stop me, though.
'Don't say what? I t---'
'---Miles---'
'—told you so?'
'YAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!'
Heh heh. Works every time.
'SERIOUSLY IT'S BEEN A WEEK NOW AND YOU'VE SAID IT EVERY FIVE MINUTES EVERY SINGLE DAY. IT'S GETTING FREAKING OLD GIVE IT A FREAKING REST BUTTHOLE!!!'
'---all that without taking a breath? I'm impressed!'
'Har-freaking-har. That's how that crap gets me. If I choke on sheep juice stew, it's gonna be your freaking fault, funny guy!'
'You're not going to choke, Teagan. It's mushy.'
'So?! How do you know there isn't a bone in here somewhere?!'
'There isn't. Quit being a drama queen.'
'...he started it...'
'Actually, you're right. I did start it. You're wrong about it getting old, though. It never gets old.'
'Whatever. It's not even like you guys are buddy-buds, anyway. Just 'cause he didn't beat you up, don't make you friends. Don't even make you partners.'
Right again!
'I know. And I think he knows, too. But the thing is...it's just like I told you guys last week. It's in everyone's best interest that me and Daniel get along. We're the top guys in the company. The guys everyone comes out to see.'
'...geez. Better buy a bigger cap with how big your head is getting...'
'It's true, though. We're the show models for Revo. If we don't put on a good show, then the whole rest of the show ends up looking crummy – and it's all our fault.'
'Wow. You literally think the show revolves around you. Who are you, and what have you done with my buddy Miles?!'
'That's...not what I mean. I just mean, right now, Revo does better if me and Daniel are not fighting than if we are. I know that, and I'm sure he does, too. Heck, if we hadn't made it through our match, Ms Moore would be out of teams for this tournament!'
'...true dat, actually. Who'd'a thunk, huh?'
Yeah. 'Who'd'a thunk' is about right.
'Besides, I'm sure Daniel would rather have another title than some bullcrap revenge on me...'
'Whoa, whoa, whoa! Cool your jets there for a minute, Champ! That was just one match last week. The first of a whole bunch. Ain't nothing says you're gonna last all the way!'
'...wanna bet?'
'You know what? Yeah, OK. Sure. Tell you what – how 'bout this? If you guys make it all the way to the end of this thing, then I'll let you get in my face about it every five minutes. But until then, you gotta give it a rest. Deal?'
'...can I get that in writing?'
'Very funny. Anyway, speaking of this match tomorrow...isn't that Hearts girl the one chick you faced back before the Pay-Per-View, where you picked up back-to-back losses?'
Yeah...that still sort of stings.
'Uh---yeah---?'
'I thought so. What are those guys thinking up there in the office? What, are they trying to book the Frequent Flyer Miles Greatest Fails Tour?'
'Real funny, Teagan.'
'Even stevens. Nyah-nyah.'
'Wow. You're being really mature right now. 'Grats. Besides, you know he only lost that match 'cause that Daniel dude came out and jumped him and they stopped the match. If they kept on fighting, he would probably have beat her. So it's not really an L.'
---I love my girlfriend.
'It's all right, Izzy. She's right. It was an L, and this does feel like my Greatest Fails Tour.'
'See? He knows what---'
'---which is why I've got to fix that problem, like I fixed the Sara Cross thing last week. So it's not a Greatest Fail anymore. So I can prove Izzy right – prove it was a fluke.'
'There's the Miles I know! Where you been, buddy? Some butthole's been impersonating you all week! It was getting on my nerves!'
Man, these girls can be funny when they want to.
But so can I.
'Yeah, I know that dude. I was talking to him earlier. He left me a message to pass on to you.'
'What---OH NO. DON'T say it!'
'Say what? That you're a really good friend, and I'm glad you're here with me?'
'...buttwipe...'
'Anyway...speaking of fixing Greatest Fails...anybody know if Run and my parents are back yet? I'm kind of in the mood to make a video right now...'
-------------------------------------------------------
Premier Inn Glasgow Pacific Quay
Glasgow, Scotland
Thirty Minutes Later
'Bro, it was awesome! You should'a been there!'
'Yeah. But the girls wanted to go to the Lighthouse, and we could only do one or the other...'
'Yeah, well, you guys missed out on an epic IMAX movie! And a bunch of really cool experiments and stuff!'
'Oh well...maybe you can take them there tomorrow, while I'm getting ready for my match and stuff...'
'Aw, heck no! No way I'm doing my big bro, the WORLD CHAMPION, like that!'
---my little brother is awesome. Just saying.
'No, seriously, dude. You guys go. No need for you all to waste a day hanging around watching me work out. It's not like we're at home. We're probably never coming back here, ever again. You guys should make the most of it.'
'Yeah, well...we'll see what's up with that tomorrow. Right now, we gotta video to shoot, right?'
Yeah--I'll let him get away with that deflection. Mostly because he's right.
Yeah--I'll let him get away with that deflection. Mostly because he's right.
'Right.'
'That's right! So let's get to it already!'
'You're the boss, little bro. Just say when.'
'OK...waaaaait foooor iiiiitttt...aaaaaandddd...WHEN!'
'I told you so.'
That one was for you, Teagan. Enjoy.
'I told you me and 'Carnivore' Daniel Dream were going to work things out. I told you we weren't going to fall apart two minutes into our first match. And what do you know? We didn't. Everyone else did!'
That's still weird to me.
'Isn't that funny? The one team everyone was saying wouldn't last, was one of the few that did. And the two guys everyone was saying hated each other's guts too much to make it work as a team...made it work as a team.'
Well, just about, anyway.
'And you know what else? That wasn't even the end of it. Last week, we proved our point. This week, we're going to drill it in. This week, we're going to prove what happened in London was more than just a five-minute lucky break. That what we told Sara and Tamika about facing a World Champion and a former World Champion was not just us talking out of our butts – it was stone-cold fact.
And who better to do that with than the other person in the Frequent Flyer Greatest Fails Hall of Shame?'
There. You got two shout-outs now, Teags. Hope you're happy.
'That's right. If there's one thing I was not happy about last week, it was that I didn't get to pin Sara Cross one-two-three and prove once and for all that her match with me was a fluke. Everybody is still saying, one-on-one, she beats me again nine times out of ten – and there's nothing I can do to prove them wrong. At least not right now. You know what I can do, though? I can prove Amelia Hearts would have never beat me if Daniel hadn't gotten involved and broken up our match. Sure, this match may not be one-on-one, with no distractions...but it's still a chance for me to set that wrong right. And I'll take any chance I can get.'
Run is digging this. So am I.
'So, Amelia...on Tuesday...get ready. Get ready to face, not some dude coming back from an illness, not some dude who's rattled because he's just lost his first match ever...but the REVO1 WORLD FREAKING CHAMPION. The top dog. El Numero Uno. The Big Cheese. The dude who finished his rookie year with an 8-1 record and two title reigns, and who isn't about to slow down any in 2021. And you know what, Amelia? This time, you can't even count on some guy he's beefing with to break things up...'cause that guy's in your guy's corner, and wants this win just as bad as he does.'
OK, Miles. Enough tooting your own horn. Time to put this one to bed.
'Amelia...go ahead and do what Sara did. Talk big at me. Pretend you're not nervous. We both know the truth. You're about to step up against the company's two top guys, with a partner you've worked with all of once and you don't know if you can trust, in a tournament where everybody's turning on their own team-mates on a dime. Basically, you're me this time last week. And I know how I freaking felt this time last week.'
And now, the coup de grace.
'Amelia...the truth is...you don't even have what Sara had to throw in my face. You never even beat me clean. If stuff hadn't gone pear-shaped that time, you probably wouldn't have beat me at all. So what makes you think you can do that now, when there's all these factors around that weren't there last time? I mean, sure, you can try...but my Dad always told me, lightning doesn't strike twice.
And for you, on Tuesday...it won't.'
There. Gave Dad a shout-out too. Seems like a good place to stop.
'So, Amelia...and you too, Portia...by all means, come at us. Give us your best shot. Show us what you got. Just be ready to face the facts. Be ready to admit defeat. 'Cause Amelia...Portia...tomorrow night, things are not going to go your way. They're not even going to go the Miles A. way. Tomorrow night, things are going to go...
...the Morbid Way.'
'WOOOOO!!!! TEAM NAME FOR THE MOTHER FREAKING WIN!'
'Run! Language!'
'Sorry, bro. But that was freaking awesome! Fist-bump!'
Yeah, OK. He earned it.
'Wouldn't be as awesome without you filming it, buddy. Now – you hungry? 'Cause all this talking got me craving seconds on dessert. Restaurant's open 'til ten, so—what do you say?'
'Uh—heck to the YES?'
'I thought so. Now hurry up – we need to get downstairs before it closes, or we're going to have to make do with energy bars...'
FINAL WORD COUNT: 1782
FINAL WORD COUNT: 1782