MAIN EVENT
Thomas Snow & PASHA
vs
Graham Clauson & Madwoman Szalinski (c)
"Silence in the Snow" by Trivium begins playing through the speakers as the arena is illuminated by ice blue and white lights.
Case: Of course, this guy's back thinking he's still got a chance at winning the World title again!
Trey: He beat 30 other people in the battle royal back in July to be the first champion! Of course he has a chance to win it back!
Case: Well, he didn't beat Graham Clauson or Abbi Stein!
Thomas Snow slowly steps out from behind the curtain. His father, Alex Snow, is conspicuously absent. The two stand side-by-side, looking out into the sea of screaming fans.
Case: What's he doing? Did he forget something?
Thomas stops at the top of the ramp, pointing back to the curtain. The A huge firework streaks across the arena before exploding at the entrance ramp. Pasha emerges and strikes a powerful pose.
Alara Miles: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is our main event for the evening! Introducing first, at a combined weight of 720 pounds..."The Ice Prince" Thomas Snow, and "The Starry Plow" Pasha!
Pasha walks to the ring with long, mighty strides before arriving at the apron. Thomas Snow does his best to keep up, having to take two steps for each of Pasha's one. Pasha pulls himself up to the apron, Thomas Snow running up the ring steps.
Trey: Memphis definitely loves these two, Case! Listen to this crowd!
Case: It is good to see the big man back, we were afraid he was possibly hurt in that ladder match at The Big Time...but no fear!
Trey: Thomas Snow and Pasha...it's the end of the fuckin' universe.
As the sparkles fly in the background, Pasha and Thomas Snow both pose with their arms out, drawing in the adoration of the packed FedEx Forum. However, the moment cannot last forever. The lighting in the arena goes pitch black as the opening riffs of "Enough" by Galleries begins to play through the arena. As the first hit of percussion hits the speakers, a spotlight comes on suddenly directly from above, Graham kneeling down and looking towards the ground.
Alara Miles: And their opponents; first, from Cincinnati, Ohio...weighing in at 222 pounds, The Notorious 513, Graham Clauson!
After a few seconds further into the track, he stands up and stares towards the ring. The lighting in the arena returning to normal as he begins to make his way towards ringside.
Trey: Graham Clauson took the Evil Princess to the limit last week, and they both earned a shot at Lex Collins' Trinity Wrestling World Championship for their efforts...
Case: Now this guy, I like. He doesn't have time for bullshit, and neither do I. No sparkles, no dancing, just all business!
Shortly before making it to ringside, Graham bursts into a sprint before jumping upwards, swinging his legs upwards and letting momentum slide him under the bottom ropes. Shortly after stopping, Graham kips up and makes his way to the closet turnbuckle. Hopping onto the second turnbuckle, he then looks upwards and throws both arms upwards and points. Shortly after, he brings his arms down to point towards the crowd with his hands forming the appearance of a gun. After a few seconds, he backflips off the turnbuckle and lands on his feet. As he walks to the opposite corner awaiting his opponent, a mixed reaction from the fans awaits him.
Case: He doesn't give a damn if the fans like him or not!
Trey: And yet, he doesn't provoke them.
"Begin Again" by Purity Ring begins to play. The Television Champion takes the stage.
Alara Miles: And his tag team partner, from Parts Unknown...
Holding her title belt out, in front of her face, she gracefully bows before raising the belt out with one arm, holding it high as the crowd cheers.
Alara Miles: The Trinity Wrestling Television Champion...Madwoman Szalinski!
Trey: When you hear the name Szalinski, what do you think?
Case: Rick Moranis.
Trey: Besides that.
Case: The idiot who put his dog on Twitter?
Trey: ...come on.
Case: I get it. Their family is full of wrestlers. Doesn't matter. She's gotta prove herself no matter what her last name is.
Trey: Madwoman is undefeated in Trinity Wrestling, and the first to successfully defend a title. If she hasn't done that by now, she's well on her way!
Case: Yeah, well let's see how well she does tonight against a former World champion and a seven foot tall, five hundred pound Russian bear!
Trey: And it's been made obvious these two aren't going to get along!
During this exchange on commentary, Madwoman has entered the ring, doing a spinning jump to land on one knee, bowing while holding the title above her head. The fans continue to cheer, and even her opponents nod to her in respect (which she returns.) The only person not happy to see Madwoman Szalinski is her partner, Graham Clauson.
Trey: All right, everyone's here, the lights are back to normal, Trapson's in there...
Case: Fuck me, AGAIN? This guy just hired a whole new referee crew! Why does he need to hog the spotlight and ref the big main event?
Trey: What did you want him to do, ref KPN and Addy A?
Case: Yes! I would have gotten to see her hit him in the balls with a hammer! Instant ratings boost!
Trapson signals for the bell. Thomas Snow and Madwoman Szalinski are the lucky ones to start in the ring. Clauson and Pasha each stand at their corners on the apron.
Trey: We have two lightweights in there, I don't expect to see very many press slams or tests of strength...
Case: Hope you snorted some Adderal before this match, because shit's about to happen really quick!
Slowly, Madwoman and Thomas inch towards each other. Both check each other's attempt at a low kick, then block a shot from the opposite hand. Thomas tries to sweep Madwoman's legs, but she leaps out of it. Madwoman tries a high hook kick, implementing a jumping spin, but Thomas leans low to avoid, kipping back up afterwards. Madwoman snaps a quick arm drag, but Thomas rolls though and pops back up. Thomas charges in, reversing a second armdrag into one of his own. Madwoman rolls through this as well, bouncing right back onto her feet.
Trey: I won't even attempt to keep up with the play by play, folks...you just gotta see it to believe it!
Case: Sometimes, the stuff these people do in Trinity, I don't even believe it when I saw it!
Thomas hits a standing hurricanrana, but Madwoman flips him back in a sunset flip. Thomas rolls backwards through this, then flips forward into a bridging pin. Madwoman is able to raise from the mat, then turn over to have Snow in a standing gutwrench. She slips an arm underneath, turning and dropping Thomas in a shoulder jawbreaker (known as a Stunner in some alternate realities.)
Trey: Madwoman hits the first real offensive move of the match...
Case: And how will she follow this up?
Snow has stumbled back into the opponent's corner. Madwoman approaches him, but is slapped on the shoulder by Clauson. She stares at him, but he waves her out of the ring with a dismissing motion while climbing in himself. She steps out, shaking her head as Graham hits a hook punch to Thomas' gut.
Trey: And a tag is made, in comes Graham Clauson...
Case: Check it out, that guy in the wheelchair is here!
Atop the ramp, the mystery man in the wheelchair sits with his attention fixated on the match. He has wheeled himself out quietly, as not to disrupt the proceedings. Back in the ring, Graham whips Thomas Snow out to the other corner, waiting for him to stumble back into the center of the ring.
Case: I don't think anyone knows he is here yet...
Graham hits a belly-to-belly suplex on Thomas...never mind, Thomas arm drags out of it! Graham gets up, mouthing "okay, okay" as Thomas readies another attack.
Trey: They're all focused on this match right now!
Graham thinks he has Thomas' number, lifting him up for what seems to be a backbreaker. Thomas kicks his legs until he floats over, landing a DDT much to the pleasure of the Memphis crowd!
Trey: And Graham tagging himself in has not worked out so far! The so called tag team specialist should have communicated better with his partner.
Case: He did, when he tagged her shoulder he was saying "okay, my turn".
Trey: Madwoman had things under control!
Case: She hit one fucking move, Trey!
Trey: She hit several moves in a back and forth exchange!
Case: Oh my God, have you watched so much wrestling it's rotting your brain?
After Thomas has hit a springboard moonsault, he presses and hooks the leg. Trapson drops down for the count.
Trapson: ONE!
Trey: Thomas going for an early victory here...
Trapson: TWO!
Case: Kick out, Clauson! THERE YOU GO! That little weak ass shit ain't gonna keep the man down, Ice Prince!
Trapson raises two fingers, then points over at Pasha and Madwoman (both of whom appeared ready to step in and break the count or prevent the other from so.) Pasha stands tall on the apron, holding his hands up as if he is claiming innocence. Madwoman continues to lean on the top rope, yelling to Graham "tag me back in already!"
Trey: Thomas Snow seems to have a bead on Graham Clauson, and with them being in that Fatal 4-Way at Bad Moon Rising for the World Championship...that's not good for The Notorious 513!
Case: This is a tag team match, it has nothing to do with that!
Thomas Snow goes for a standing legdrop, but Clauson moves at the last second. Snow hits the canvas, and Clauson capitalizes by stomping at him as he tries to stand back up. Graham clinches Snow in a front face lock, stepping backwards to pull him away from the ropes.
Trey: Could he be going for a vertical suplex here?
Case: No could about it, he's got him in the air...
Trey: Brainbuster!
Graham drops Thomas Snow straight onto the canvas head-first. Graham sits for a moment, chuckling a bit before snarling at his downed opponent and kipping up himself. He yells back to his corner "I GOT THIS, DUMB BITCH!" which draws a lot of boos from the front rows.
Case: Yeah! You tell that little rat!
Trey: Un-called for!
Even Trapson lets out a "hey!" but Graham does not care. He drags Thomas Snow to his feet, then hooks him right back up into a gut wrench.
Case: Well, he does have it under control for the moment...
Trey: Gutwrench supleOH MY LAWD!
Case: Oh...man...that was...
Case has to choke down chuckling, as many fans gasp in shock. Clauson had launched Thomas Snow into the air, stepping up as if he was going for a gutwrench suplex. The problem was, he didn't step up far enough and it was some odd mix between gutwrench powerbomb, gutwrench suplex and gutwrench throw dude onto his fucking head.
Case: Jesus...fuck, man, how the hell are we supposed to call that?
Trey: Call a freakin' doctor, he might have just snapped his neck!
The wriggling of Thomas' arms and legs (and his loud yells of "WHAT THE FUCK?") signal that his neck isn't broken. Trapson immediately rushes over to check on him, verifying that he hasn't suffered serious injury. Graham stands over the two, threatening to push Trapson aside if he has to in order to finish Snow off.
Trey: I think that was intentional! Graham Clauson just tried to take Thomas Snow out before Bad Moon Rising!
Snow gets up, pissed off as all hell. He charges right into Clauson, pushing him against the ropes. A couple of wild punches are thrown before Graham ties Thomas up, holding his arms. Madwoman quickly runs over from the apron, smacking Graham on the back with a light tap and then prying at his arms.
Case: Where you at now, Trapson?
Trey: I can't say I blame Thomas Snow for being upset, Graham just about tried to kill him there!
Graham and Thomas break apart, but now Graham and Madwoman are arguing with one another. Trapson steps in, trying his best to get Graham out of the ring. Madwoman tries to step away, but Graham yanks her back over by the wrist. The crowd is booing even heavier now, definitely turning on Clauson.
Case: More lack of communication there! At least let your partner know you're tagging in and out!
Trey: They've only had one thing in common tonight, and that's the gameplan to isolate Thomas Snow.
Case: If Pasha tags in, it's over. He outweighs both his opponents combined. And he's fresh...
Trey: And while Graham is distracting his partner from taking care of business...
Thomas Snow casually walks over to his corner, holding a finger to his lips. Pasha licks his own, rubbing his hands.
Case: Oh boy...
Thomas and Pasha make a tag, as quietly as possible. Trapson glances over, throwing a thumbs up in their direction, then returns to admonishing Clauson. Looking over Madwoman's shoulder, Graham suddenly changes his tune and hops through the ropes. Madwoman turns around just in time to be nose-to-chest with Pasha!
Trey: Don't kill her, Pasha!
Case: Fuck that! Kill the shit outta her!
With no fear, Madwoman looks up as high as she can while Pasha looks directly down his chest at her.
Case: I didn't think it was possible for Madwoman to look any smaller, but Pasha is just straight up dwarfing her!
Trey: I'm afraid to look...
Madwoman does the only thing she can do.
Trey: What is this...
The crowd cheers as the TV champion stretches her arms wide, as if she is asking for a hug.
Case: You gotta be kidding.
Pasha slowly puts his arms out...further...further...
Trey: Is he gonna do it?
Case: Please don't even try to hype this up...
Trey: IS HE GONNA HUG HER?
Crowd: PASHA'S GONNA HUG YOU! PASHA'S GONNA HUG YOU!
Trey: MEMPHIS, TENNESSEE IS FIRED UP! THEY WANT TO SEE SOMEBODY GET HUGGED BY PASHA TONIGHT, ON TUESDAY NIGHT SIN FROM THE FEDEX FORUM!
Case: This is why people don't take wrestling seriously. I sincerely hope you fuckin' know that.
Pasha steps back...Madwoman steps back...the crowd swells...
Trey: ARE THEY GOING TO MAKE HISTORY TONIGHT?
Case: Fine, I'll play along...
The roof comes off the building.
Case: THEY DID IT!
Trey: THEY HUGGED!
Case: THIS IS THE GREATEST NIGHT IN THE HISTORY OF TRINITY WRESTLING! PASHA HAS ACHEIVED HIS GOAL OF HUGGING THE WORLD TONIGHT AND IT HAS STARTED WITH PRINCESS MADWOMAN!
The embrace continues in the ring, with the crowd bursting into applause.
Trey: THE HUG IS ON!
Case: HUGS NOT DRUGS!
Madwoman squeezes as hard as she can, but her arms just do not wrap all the way around Pasha! Meanwhile, The Starry Plough can grasp his elbows with Madwoman inside his arms!
Trey: WHO WILL WIN IN THIS BATTLE OF LOVE?
Case: LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD, TREY! CAN I PLEASE QUIT DOING THIS SHIT NOW?
Graham Clauson yells out "BULLSHIT!" as Trapson claps and smiles, looking on as the bearhug challenge continues. Madwoman appears to be struggling for breath, while Pasha merely looks down.
Trey: NO PROMISES! NO DEMANDS!
Case: What the fuck is this, yo?
Pasha effortlessly picks Madwoman up, walking her step by step into her corner. Clauson leans back as far as he can to avoid the giant, almost stepping off the apron. However, the one hand he leaves grabbing the ropes is free as Madwoman and Pasha look at each other, nod, and Madwoman blind tags Graham Clauson into the match!
Trey: You wanted action, Case? Well, I think you're about to get it!
Case: I don't think Clauson is going to wanna hug it out...
Pasha lets Madwoman go, turns to Clauson...and biels him over the ropes into the ring by his head!
Trey: OH YES!
Graham rolls away, scrambling to another corner. Pasha zeroes in slowly, waiting for Clauson to get back to his feet. A running butt splash awaits him, and a cheer from the crowd awaits that. Pasha steps out of the corner one or two steps, only to lean back again with a second butt splash driving Clauson back into the turnbuckles!
Trey: THIS IS GREAT!
Case: I'm waiting to see Graham Clauson embarass this clown!
Pasha grabs Graham...
Pasha: You throw people on head?
Pasha pulls Graham into a gutwrench.
Pasha: IN SOVIET RUSSIA I THROW YOU ON HEAD!
Pasha flings Graham Clauson into the air with ease, bringing him back down like a sack of potatoes. Clauson is laid out flat after a gutwrench powerbomb.
Trey: Dear God!
Case: Come on, get up! get up, Graham!
Trey: And now Pasha has single-handedly brought his team back into the match...Thomas Snow looks like he's okay, but you know his neck is sore from that move earlier...
Case: And now Graham Clauson is down! Who's gonna blink first? How's this one gonna end?
The mystery man sits from his wheelchair on the apron, continuing to witness the events unfold. Madwoman, still unaware of his presence, calls out for a tag.
Trey: Anything can happen here...
Clauson finally stirs around. A giant hand to the cranium digs its claws in, yanking him from the mat.
Trey: What strength from Pasha to pick him up off the mat with one hand!
Clauson's feet are on the mat, but Pasha still has the claw. Graham is lifted off the mat when Pasha uses both hands, but Graham kicks Pasha right in the junk to break the grasp! And where is Trapson to call for the DQ...
Trey: Wait a minute, someone just pulled Trapson out of the ring!
WHACK! A chair is brought down hard onto the head of The King Of Pop Rocks turned Trinity Wrestling's new Head Official. Boos shower down over the arena as Adelaide Ainsworth slides the chair into the ring, quickly hopping the rail and evading Trinity's team of officials as they run down to apprehend her. Meanwhile, Graham Clauson hits a running baseball slide through Pasha's legs, and when Pasha bends down, is smached in the face with everything Clauson has (from his back, at least.)
Trey: Graham Clauson is fighting the giant, after that low blow earlier...
Case: This is a god damn circus!
Graham tags in Madwoman, but insists he has a plan. Madwoman begrudingly steps through the ropes, unsure of the next move. Graham, with Pasha on one knee after several low side kicks to the leg, has her climb the turnbuckles. She does so, with Graham standing beside. He turns her around, climbing up to the middle rope...
Trey: Can someone please get in there?
Thomas Snow runs in, trying to help out his partner while there is no referee. Graham tosses Madwoman back in a German suplex from the turnbuckles, where she is thrown backwards - onto both their opponents!
Case: Not bad...not bad!
Graham sees the chair slid into the ring just a second ago, using it to take a free shot into the back of Pasha and the stomach of Snow. He aims for quickness as opposed to impact, almost throwing Madwoman onto Thomas Snow. When told that "he's not the legal one!" Graham says "it doesn't matter, just do it!"
Trey: Graham Clauson has absolutely snapped!
Case: Memphis might riot at this rate!
Madwoman begrudgingly does as told, while Graham goes outside of the ring, rolling Trapson in. Conflicted fans do not know whether to boo Graham or cheer Madwoman, although many choose neither and go with a "FUCK YOU CLAUSON!" chant instead, clapping each time.
Trey: Trapson's awake! He's counting the pin!
ONE!
Case: Holy crap! It's about time, dude! Why didn't one of those officials stay and watch the match? They all ran!
TWO!
Trey: Wait, this one is over!
THREE!
Trey: You gotta be kidding me!
Alara Miles: Here are your winners, the team of Graham Clauson and Madwoman Szalinski!
The Trinity TV Champion immediately gets up, along with Pasha, yelling out "THIS IS BULLSHIT!" Pasha and Madwoman stare with death glares at Graham...but it's Thomas Snow who charges at him upon his rising to his feet, sending Graham cowering through the ropes and out of the ring!
Trey: The people in the ring are booing right along with the people in the ring! Graham Clauson just took advantage of the ref being dragged out of the ring...
Case: She's back!
Adelaide Ainsworth slides back into the ring, going for a forearm to the back of Madwoman. This time, however, Thomas and Pasha are there to respond...
Trey: Wait! Abby Stein's coming through the crowd!
Soon, the ring is full of people brawling. Everyone is rolling around, throwing shots at each other...even Trapson, throwing off his jacket and kicking Addy A. right in the face! Officials, event security...
Trey: Everyone is going at it in there!
Case: Lex Collins is coming out! Look! He's coming from the side!
Lex Collins jumps the rail, going into the ring and aiming to leap out towards Graham Clauson (still at ringside.)
Lex is waylayed from behind by someone at random in the big bar room brawl, and never makes it over the ropes.
Trey: This is getting to be insane! Get it broken up!
On the stage, the mystery man stares down the ramp at the carnage. His face is expressionless, yet overloaded with swirling emotions. At the bottom of the ramp, Graham Clauson eyes him and slowly begins to pace up towards his former tag team partner.
Trey: Graham Clauson has death lazers in his eyes, zeroed in on whoever that man is....
Case: What's he gonna do? Jump up out the chair and slap him?
The man yells out at Graham, who is getting closer and closer.
Mystery Man: Do it! You ain't got the balls!
Graham approaches him...only to walk past him, turning slowly to grab the handles of his wheel chair...
Trey: Oh my God...no! No!
Case: Okay, this dude's in a wheelchair...I'm not so sure I can agree with this one, Clauson...
Graham takes a few steps backwards, with the mystery man powerless to stop him. It is only now that Madwoman realizes that he is in the arena...and she is also powerless to stop what happens next.
Trey: What is Graham Clauson about to do?
Trey: OH MY GOD!
Case: HE KILLED HIM!
Trey: YOU BASTARD!
Clauson takes a couple steps forward, looking down at the bottom of the stage. The heaped mass of Madman, his wheelchair, and two broken tables covered in equipment lay below. The fans had previously been booing Graham Clauson vehemently; now, they are just hushed. Everything in the ring stops (allowing event security to surrounds the ring's inhabitants.)
Trey: Graham Clauson has just thrown this man off the stage!
Case: The lights are flickering! They took out the control panel for the lights!
The arena's lights flicker between settings, ocasionally turning out completely. Backup lights in the arena give a feint yellow-whiteish glow, allowing officials to swarm in and encircle Clauson.
Trey: I can't believe that asshole would do something like this!
Case: Jesus Christ! Get him out of here!
Madwoman rushes to the man, bumping through EMTs to get to him. The final logos for the show appear at the bottom right corner of the screen. The show ends in a silenced crowd as EMTs administer medical attention.