Post by Frequent Flyer Miles on Sept 29, 2019 15:06:14 GMT -5
'First of all...yeah. That IS my real name. What can I say, my folks had a sense of humor. Don't believe me? Here's my ID...see? There it is. Right there. Miles A. Way. And if you think THAT's bad, you should see what my brother and sister are called. I mean, at least mine is a REAL name! Talk about getting—off---eas---'
--no. No, no, no. That doesn't work.
OK...start over.
'Who am I? Are you sure you wanna know? The story of my life is not for the faint of heart. If somebody told you I was just your average, ordinary guy, not a care in the world...somebody lied.'
---No. No, no, NO! What am I doing?! Movie quotes?! What am I, IMDB? That one's not even true – I AM average and ordinary!
Nah – I've got to come up with something else. Something better.
Right. Third time's the charm. Here we go.
'Ever since I was a kid, I've been able to sleep through anything. Storms, hurricanes...you name it. Last night, I didn't sleep.'
---No, no, NO!!! That STILL doesn't work! It's STILL copying someone else! I can't just keep copying someone else! I gotta do my own thing!
Augh, why is this so freaking hard?!
Right. That's it. Three strikes, I'm out. I clearly can't do this on my own. If I'm going to make a good first impression, I'm going to need some help.
Time to call in the experts.
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'Miles, what the heck!? I'm trying to stream here!'
Oh, crap. Run doesn't sound too happy. I hope he'll still be OK with helping me...
'Sorry, buddy. Normally I wouldn't come knocking during your stream time. But I, uh...I need some help.'
What's that look he's giving me? Is he angry? Mocking? Sympathetic? I can't tell.
'Help?' He doesn't sound angry. That's good, I guess. 'What kind'a help?'
'Uh...video help.'
'Video help?' Definitely surprised now. And I totally get why.
'Yeah. I'm trying to make this video---'
'---for the wrestling thing---?'
'---for the wrestling thing...and I just can't come up with anything good for the intro. So I thought maybe you could help me. You know, 'cause you make YouTube videos and stuff...'
'The intro?! You're stuck at the intro?!' He's definitely making fun of me now. I guess I deserve it, though. I mean, what kind of person wants to be a pro wrestler, but can't get past the intro to a video?
'Yeah. Nothing I come up with works. I was thinking maybe you could show me what you do...you know?'
Run's giving me one of those looks again. I can't tell if he's going to help me, or tell me to take a hike. Doesn't help that he's not saying anything either way.
'Bro. The intro's the easiest part!' His tone's still kind of mocking, but at least he's not slamming the door in my face. 'Just be random!'
'Random?'
'Yeah. Random. Like...I dunno...what up, fambots?! It's ya boy RunForCover, back again with more of that sweet, sweet Fortnite shizz!'
'Fambots?!'' Somehow, I can't see myself ever calling anyone a 'fambot'. Whatever that even is.
'Yeah. It's what I call my fans. But, you know, whatever. That's just my thing. You can come up with your own.'
You know what?! That's not bad advice. Not bad advice at all. I mean, I've tried everything else...why not give this a try? Besides, Run probably knows what he's doing. I mean, he's the one with the YouTube channel and the Twitch account, making videos every week. I'm just some dork who wants to fight people.
'Cool. I'll try that, then. Being random. Thanks, buddy. Sorry for butting into your stream.'
Run is smiling now. 'No probs, fam.'
He earned that fistbump. But now I can't waste any more time. I've still got a video to make, and it needs to be ready in less than two days.
Right. What was that he said? Be random.
I can do that. I can be random. I can totally be random!
Right.
OK.
Random.
Here we go.
'Yo, yo, yo, what's kicking, funky monkeys? This is ya boy Miles, and---------'
---yeeeeah, no. Let's not even keep going with that.
What the heck was I thinking? I'm not fourteen! Maybe this type of thing works when you're Run's age, but it's definitely not going to work for me.
But hey – can't blame the kid for teaching me what he knows...
Oh, well. Guess I'm still stuck up Intro Creek without a paddle.
Good thing I know somebody else who can maybe give me one.
---------------------------------------------------
'Miles! What's up? Is everything OK?'
Good old Farrah. Always concerned with us boys.
'Yeah...I mean....yeah. I just kind of need your help with something.'
'My help?! What do you need my help with?'
'It's...uh...it's this video...'
'For the wrestling thing.'
'For the wrestling thing. And I'm trying to make it really good, make a good first impression...you know?' Far nods. 'But I keep getting stuck at the intro. I just don't know what to say. Everything just sounds fake.'
What I like best about Farrah is that she never judges. Whatever your problem is, she doesn't try to tell you off, or make fun of you - she just tries to help. And it's just the same here.
'Well...have you tried not trying?!'
'Not trying?!' What does she mean, not trying?!
'Yeah. I mean...why don't you just be yourself? Instead of trying to come up with something?! It could be easier that way...I dunno...'
I see what she means...but I'm not sure if...
'...you think that would work?'
''Course it'll work!' That tone. Like there was never any doubt in her mind. Man, I don't deserve her. 'I mean, why wouldn't it work?'
'I dunno...I just...you think if I was just myself, people would want to keep watching?'
'Sure!' Again, no doubts. I love my sister. 'Why not? You're a pretty likeable guy. Like, you're funny, and goofy, and cute....'
Yeah. I know. That's kind of what I'm worried about.
'Goofy and cute isn't exactly what you want to be when you're a pro wrestler, Far. Just saying.'
'Uh, why not?' It's an actual question. She really, honestly does not know.
'Well...it's sort of a perception thing...you know? Like...'
'...like if you're not swearing and cussin' up a storm and acting all mean, people won't respect you? Is that it?'
Got it in one, sis.
...wait, she's laughing?! What?!
'I'm sorry.... That's just dumb. I mean, what are you guys, middle-schoolers?'
...she has a point. The way she says it, it does sound kind of dumb.
And now I'm laughing at it, too.
'You're right. It is dumb.'
'Of course it's dumb. You don't need gimmicks or swear words or any of that dumb stuff to get people to like you. Just be your usual self. Like what you are with us, me and Run and Mom and Dad. I know people are going to like you. I mean, they like you in real life, right? So what's different?'
Actually, a lot's different, but Far doesn't care about how the Internet works, so it's hard to explain it to her. Run would get it, but not her.
Besides, who's to say she's not right? Most people do like me in real life. Even in high school, I got along with a lot of people. So why not in wrestling high school?
'Thanks, Far. That really helped.'
'Sure thing, big bro. Any time.' Augh, I don't deserve her!
Still...at least now I've got a direction. A good one, that isn't going to make me come across as some phoney-baloney dum-dum.
At least I hope it won't...
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'Hey, guys! Miles here. Miles A. Way. Coming at you live from...uh...my bedroom, 'cause this was all kind'a sudden and I didn't have time to scout any cool locations or anything.'
Ugh. Still a bit cringey. But at least I sound like me now. And at least I'm telling the truth, instead of making up some crappy reason why I'm not somewhere cool.
So, yeah, This is finally working now. Thanks, Farrah!
'Anyway, in case you were wondering...yeah, that's my real name. Miles Andrew Way. Miles A. Way. What can I say...my parents had a sense of humor. And it's not just me, either – my brother's called Runcorn Anthony Way, and my sister's Farrah Alexandria Way. Run and Far. As in, Run A. Way and Far A. Way. So, yeah...I think I got off kind'a easy, in the end.'
Why did I just say that? Nobody really cares!
Actually, scratch that. I care.
Even still...time to get to the point.
'But you didn't click this video to hear about my family's quirky naming conventions. You want to hear about wrestling. Which is fine by me, 'cause I want to talk about wrestling!'
Yeah! Yeah, THIS is more like it!
'Now, in case you haven't heard, I'm this close to living out the one dream I've had and held on to since I was a little kid – to step inside a real, actual professional wrestling ring and have a real, actual match, in front of a real, actual live crowd and a bunch of real, actual TV cameras. And guess what, guys? Next Tuesday, all that is really, actually happening – and it's all going down right here in my home state of Nevada!'
There. I've said it. It's out there. And now that it's out there, it's really, actually true.
Wowza.
'That's right, guys – in just a couple of days, I'll be making my official professional debut, with Trinity Wrestling, in a three-way match on Tuesday Night Sin. No, not on the pre-show...not as a dark match...on the actual show. In a televised match, you guys...!'
Ugh. That was way too dorky. I better check myself before I wreck myself.
Breeeeeathe...
...aaaaand...
...onwards!
'Anyway, I guess this is the part of the video where you're supposed to talk about how your opponents stink, and they're nobody, and you're so much better than them, and stuff. But I'm not going to do that. First of all, 'cause I don't really have anything against either of them, and second of all, because it's not true. They don't stink, and they aren't nobody. If they stunk, they wouldn't have gotten signed and given a match on TV; and they can't be nobody, because nobody is nobody. Everybody is somebody. So by that logic, they're somebody, too.'
Was that confusing? It made sense to me, but I dunno...
Ah, well, I can edit it out later. I've got to go on before I forget everything.
'In fact, heck – if anybody stinks and is nobody here, it's me. I'm the one having his first ever professional match at the show. I'm the one nobody's ever heard about. So what right do I have to sit here and tell my opponents they're worse than me, when they've actually wrestled matches before?' I'm a rookie! That's disrespectful!'
Calm down, Miles. Getting too agitated. Deep breaths.
'But you know what? What I just said about if those other guys stunk, they wouldn't be on TV...that goes for me, too. I may not have experience, or titles, or be a well-known wrestler or anything like that...but I'm here. I made it to TV. And that means I don't stink. That means the people at Trinity saw something in me, that they think maybe I've got something to offer. Which means I'm not nobody either. I'm just not somebody yet.'
Now that was a good one! Far was right – this is kind of, sort of working.
'So, yeah. I'm not going to talk trash, or disrespect anybody. That's just not my style. Never was. You know? What I am going to say is that I'm stoked to be getting in a ring with you guys, and I hope we three of us bring the house down, and make people want to see us fight again!'
Aaaaand time for some real talk.
'Now, I know not everybody's as nice as me. I'm sure somebody, at some point, is going to want to call me names. So, go ahead. Knock yourself out. I've heard 'em all in middle school. Miles A. Gay. Miles B. Gay. Miles No Way. Miles B. Cray. Piles a' Hay. I'm sure you can probably come up with some more good ones, so feel free. Names never hurt me then, and they don't hurt me now. I like who I am. Who cares if other people don't? I'm not living my life for them. You know what I mean?'
Getting off-track again, Miles. Reel it in. Focus.
'And yeah, I know it's all part of the trash talk, or the mind-games, or whatever you want to call it. Which is even more of a reason not to pay any attention. If people are literally just doing this to get their opponents all worked up, the best thing to do is just not to care. If you don't care, you don't get worked up, and they don't have an advantage. Or as they say on the Internet, don't feed the trolls.'
Right – time to wrap this up, I think.
'So yeah – I'm not going to waste time sitting here calling everybody else dumb or pretending like they don't matter and I'm not taking this seriously. They do matter, and I am taking them seriously. Especially the alien guy. Which by the way...he's, uh, he's not really an alien, right? Like, he doesn't have alien powers or anything like that...right, guys? 'Cause if he does, it's kind of unfair on the other two of us...you know what I mean?'
Dang it! I need to stop going on these tangents!
Right – for real this time. Let's wrap this up.
'A-ny-way...focus, Miles...what I was going to say is that, Valkyrie, enaiT...I'm taking both of you seriously. And I hope you're taking me seriously, too. 'Cause I may just be a rookie, but I have a degree on Sport and Fitness. I know what hurts and where it hurts. And I know how to keep things from hurting, too. So guys... don't look past me. I'm young, I'm quick, I'm smart, I'm hungry, and I'm ready to live my dream. Tuesday Night Sin, Miles A. Way takes his first flight...
...and I don't plan to crash and burn.'
YEAH, BOI! That's what I'm talkin' bout! That was awesome!
I've got to find Farrah. I've got to thank her. If it wasn't for her, I'd still be stuck here, like an idiot, trying to come up with a cool intro! A lot of this is down to her. So what I'm going to do is, I'm going to take her out and get her a great big Pumpkin Spice Latte to say thank---
'---OH! Uh...hi, guys...! How long have you two been standing there?'
'Long enough.' Far is smiling.
'Yeah. Long enough to hear you totally embarrass yourself!'
Thanks for the elbow shot, Far, but I don't even care that much. Mean words really can't hurt me. Not even from my little brother.
'Don't listen to him, Miles.' Farrah, seriously, you don't need to do damage control, it's fine. 'You sounded great!'
'I know, right?!' Now it's me who's smiling. 'You were right, Far! That was totally the right approach! I just...it was just...easy!'
'Of course it was easy.' Dang, my sister has a nice smile! 'You were just being you.'
'Yeah. And I owe it to you, sis!' Farrah totally earned that hug. 'And I want to re-pay you for it. Let's go to Starbucks or something.'
'Oh, shut up, Miles!' A real nice smile. 'I don't want any Starbucks. And you don't have to repay me. I'm your sister. It's the least I can do!'
...OK, I can kind of see her point.
'Even still--'
'Miles.' Uh-oh. It's that tone. The don't-argue tone. 'I said I don't want anything. You really want to pay me back, blow everyone's minds at the wrestling thing on Tuesday. Everything else is just window dressing.'
---why does that feel better than if she had taken me up on the Starbucks?
'Don't worry, sis. I will.'
And if that wasn't a promise before, it sure as heck is now.
On Tuesday, this Frequent Flyer is taking off.
Final Word Count: 2.718
Final Word Count: 2.718