Post by GC on Sept 23, 2019 21:49:28 GMT -5
CheapWhiteFoam.com News Posting
Headline: Future Trinity World Champion?
Poster: Graham Clauson
Timestamp: September 23, 2019 - 10:22 PM EST
Headline: Future Trinity World Champion?
Poster: Graham Clauson
Timestamp: September 23, 2019 - 10:22 PM EST
My father once told me that I shouldn't take any opportunity lightly, because that opportunity may never come back your way again. "World Championship opportunities don't just appear out of thin air, kid. I've got only one, and I'm blessed to have ever won it."
That's at least one of the family bloodline, I guess. Hell, the last time I had a shot at a World Championship? Seven years.
I was in San Diego working for an Indy promotion called, of all things, Catholic Panda Wrestling. Of all of the names this place could think of, this is the name they went with. Due to the affiliation with the CWC of old, I crossed over to do some work for them. Believe me, after spending a year behind the commentary desk full time over at X3 Wrestling, I was itching to scrap again. They needed recognizable, yet still fresh blood to fill out their talent pool, so I jumped at the opportunity to get back in the ring.
Before I knew it, I was in their title picture. They decided to hold a tournament to determine their number one contender to face their then-champion, Larry Gowan. I walked in, and no different to what I've done to my opponents in Trinity Wrestling, I've made a straight line through every opponent they threw at me in the tournament. I wrestled three matches in that night, and won my shot at their World Championship...
...to find out that I had to also take my newly-won opportunity that same night before I could even celebrate my tournament victory. So, wrestle a fourth match and get my first official ducat? Or, do I throw the opportunity away in front of a live audience?
Again, us Cincinnati folk are questionably sane at best. So, I shake off the fatigue, and get ready to molly-whomp Larry and earn my first championship. The feeling was mutual, because that match went at least half-an-hour. But, even after all of that, it wasn't enough.... At that point in the match, my tank was on fumes. We were up on the top turnbuckle, and the exchange we had caused us to fall into what the official determined to be a double-pinfall scenario.
Looking back at it, I should've just accepted what happened and taken a rematch at a later date. In my youth and vigor, despite my body screaming at me to stop, I demanded the match be restarted. I was respectfully denied, although I didn't see it that way. But then after going backstage and running into some people, the trajectory of my entire career would get turned way upside down...
I wasn't the only ones who got the raw deal of the booking decisions in Panda, either. The man Madwoman claims to be her older brother, and his then wife, got beaten by the staff's favorite vampiric duo of the Belmonts in the Tag Team division. We had both been fed what felt like a slight from the staff, and we had dealings with each other while working in Evolution Pro Wrestling and X3 Wrestling. You mix all of that talent who's tired of smacking the glass ceiling, all of that butthurt, with a bit of Four Loko and a couple 70's Circles?
You get the Shoot Kings.
The next taping, we committed verbal arson on the entire business. We peeled the curtain back just enough for you to get a peak, then kick you in the face for looking. We even crashed the nosebleeds and had an acoustic concert just to absorb time from all of the talent we felt we were slighted by. We were ready to show the entire world, not just that promotion, that we were the real deal. We had shown the night before we were a threat to be reckoned with in the ring, but this was about making a statement. That statement was vicious, unforgiving, and was a public declaration of taking what we felt was ours.
The fans ate it up more than Trapson in those damn popcorn memes! We put up a shirt for sale, and we ran out of our initial 200-shirt stock within two days! We even had the IWC on Twitter, which was effectively a new platform then, raving about what we did. They thought we were fire! We did it because we knew if we gave them something different, and give them that primal scream of rebellion they so desired, it would sell tickets and put butts in seats. That's supposed to be the goal of the entire business, isn't it? To have a fan base who will buy your product?
Wrong. Two tapings later, we were told that our services were no longer needed. Their ticket sales dwindled, and the fan base followed us as we crashed promotion after promotion. Needless to say, even Jesus couldn't work a miracle for that place, and the panda died.
No, literally, they had an actual panda for a mascot. Madman actually thought about taking it home and letting it hang out with his pet brown bear in a cave near his house, but we found out the panda had a steady diet for jobbers they didn't want to pay. And that panda was racist; it hated white people, tried to grab Madman once to eat him. I never had a problem with it, likely because I'm part Mexican. Sadly, it died a couple weeks after the place closed because no one would take it and it had no food.
Almost like the way my competition schedule as been in Trinity lately. I keep demanding for someone who could actually hit, and I finally got that with Nightshade. But, the Pinkslip Club rose up and slammed that Terminated stamp on him. That's now six people I've wished luck on their future endeavors. The question is, will my next opponent be the same?
Sadly, I hate to say that this is a pattern. But, call a spade what it is. In all of my bookings here in Trinity Wrestling, I've been booked to face floundering talent who isn't hitting the mark, or I'm booked to face talent who has never appeared for the promotion yet. They come in, they try to show that they don't absolutely suck, then I put them down for the pinfall. Every match, same result.
But this time, they've dangled a carrot in front of me by sweetening the pot with this match. In the event that I win, I get to face Lex Collins at Bad Moon Rising for a shot of dethroning him from his top spot in this company.
YOU FINALLY GOT THE MEMO, TRINITY MANAGEMENT! THIS IS ONE MIRACLE JESUS DID GRANT!
I'm glad he finally put some smelling salts under your nose and woke you up! You finally realize that I'm actually worth the clout that I put on my name and my technique in that ring. You have come to the conclusion that your World Championship is actually something worth putting some prestige behind, and that only the best competitors should be facing off for their top prize.
And why not me? Is it my current undefeated streak that makes me look better on your rankings? Is it the fact that I helped trim the extra overhead off of your expense reports at the end of the quarter? Could it be that you realize that the only person that could possibly give Lex Collins a real fight for that Championship in me, and this match is simply just a formality?
Or is it the beard? Definitely the beard, I'm sure of it.
Now, before I get ahead of myself and claim this is going to be some upset, let's give my opponent a little bit of credit. "The Evil Princess", as she denotes herself as what feels to be an afterthought, is walking into Trinity Wrestling with a golden ticket in her hand. Not even one match in this company, and she's about to waltz herself into a potential World Championship match if she can defeat me...
...for real? I mean, what is this madness? We're going to just let some random unknown that we've never heard of, seen them in a match, nor is there any real major fanfare like there was for Addy Ainsworth. You all gave more fanfare for the girl who doesn't understand that it's okay to get crabs, but it's not okay for her to keep them and name them. But yeah, let's give this random person a World Championship title shot...
You know what? Fuck that, who the fuck is booking our matches? BotchBot 5000? Who thought this was actually a smart idea? Do you even understand the position you are putting this girl in?
Let me repeat this for you again, once more, so you understand me clearly. Better yet, let me rephrase it so it's crystal clear. I am here to compete, not run a damn clinic on your talent. If the talent you are bringing to me is of a lesser caliber, I'm going to break them in two. You would've had a better chance of preventing my eventual rise to the top of your mountain if you would've put Pandora in front of me.
But instead, Abbi Stein gets thrust into the limelight and has the opportunity of a lifetime against me. If she can beat me, she gets to face Lex Collins for his Trinity World Championship... The chance to win such an accolade, let alone any singles competition title.
And that's something that has eluded me for my entire career. Sure, I'm a former GFC Tag Team Champion, but a World Championship? After ten years in this business, do you truly believe that I'm going to just let her walk in and take away a shot of redeeming myself after failed shot so many years ago? I may have a couple more wrinkles in the face, but I've been looking to put another Championship around my waist. And it sure would look better around my waist instead of sitting right above a pair of shorts that proclaim 'BITCH', written on the ass.
I can't help but want to question if Abbi Stein is what people truly think is Championship material? It makes so much sense to me how we ended up with the championship pictures we have if people view professional wrestling as a joke. On top of Abbi, we have a delusional woman running around in essentially my best friend's mask with our Television Title who's spouting off about defeating me because I called her lying ass out to everyone. We've got other random people like Abbi walking in and being handed out championship matches like they're Somas. We've got the walking example of why we need Planned Parenthood, a former zombie from the Walking Dead, Terry Crews's stunt double, and Trapson's striped glove pillow-patting the mat and barely hear his nasally ass voice counting the pin?! Askin' girl if she wants to give up when I slap that Scarlet Letter on her...
You gonna give up, girl? SHAMONE~! You know you can't feel that glow all night, gotta break the hold or brrratatatatatap!
FUCK THAT! WHERE...THE...FUCK...IS THE COMPETITION I'VE BEEN ASKING YOU FOR?!
Nightshade may have actually had something right. Maybe we do need to revisit an era when the combat sport we practice hit harder. Maybe it's time I start truly unleashing that Avondale Experience on everyone. I've yet to unleash that bullet of an uppercut to your skulls. The six before you got away before The Notorious 513 really unloaded the clip, Abbi.
But now we're playing for keeps, and you're not playing with the Graham Clauson that was big fish making big splashes in small ponds. I'm not the Shoot King of old, constantly running my mouth more than slapping the taste out of people in the ring. You're dealing with The Notorious 513 now, and I'm way more ruthless than back when.
Now we have a match that involves the top Championship in this company. This match is the one step left on the ladder I need to take. You are that one enemy I need to finally get the experience points I need, Abbi, and it's about time to queue that victory tune.
LEVEL UP, BITCH!
SHOOT'S OVER!
(Better keep my ducat shiny, Lex! I'm comin' for that ass, no homo!)