Post by THE OVERBAKER on Sept 26, 2021 0:09:16 GMT -5
As soon as THE OVERBAKER’S feet touch the ground upon being eliminated from the Remembrance II Battle Royal he spins on his heels and eyes the front row. He has sensed a disturbance in the bakeverse and it doesn’t take long for him to find it. There, a few feet from him, stands a thin man with a hotdog in his hand. Not just any hotdog. It’s the most vile of hotdogs. It’s a ….
SOYDOG!
”I TOLD YOU FANS WEEKS AGO…. BEEF FRANKS ONLY!”
As other eliminations happen around him, THE OVERBAKER snatches the soydog from the fan and lectures him about the downsides of eating such a wimpy food. He stomps the soydog to bits under his massive boot then turns to the kitchen Sue Chef had put up outside the ring during their entrance. He and Sue cook up some quick one bite meals as comfort food for each of the eliminations that happen, and give them to the fellow losers as each one heads to the back.
The scene opens to the inside of an old abandoned church. In place of church pews are long buffet tables with food galore placed upon them. There’s about fifty people there, all ranging in genders and ages from teens to elderly. They mill about taking food into their plates as Sue Chef passes by with a money collection plate. People put money in it as she continues.
Then the deep brooding voice of THE OVERBAKER overcomes the place, having a presence of its own. He stands at the pulpit with a cookbook displayed as his bible.
”Yes my foodies, eat. Eaaaat! I have prepared for you a feast as we head into the anatomical asshole of America, Washington DC, for my battle against a stack of odds that gives pause to your OVERBAKER!”
Yes, verily, THE OVERBAKER has a cult following already, known affectionately as his “foodies”. It began during his debut match and really came on strong at the Remembrance II Battle Royal. The foodies will only grow as he continues his trek through the roster.
”The powers that be have decided I’m too dominant for any one man or woman to take on, so they have sought to make things fair by booking me against a known tag team of Ross Hanson and his popcorn fart girlfriend Chelsea Skye. It’s a handicap match. While I feel flattered over this, I do have concerns. I am only one man. I do have Sue, but she’s not a wrestler so she’s limited in what she can do to even the score. Another thing that concerns me is that I know little of Chelsea Skye. She could be the next great thing - another Maggie Lockheart - or she could be the next Latoya Hixx.”
He takes a moment to mull over the perceived weakest link of the team.
”What I do know of Chelsea is that she’s a fraud. She ‘never cheats’ yet the first thing we saw her do upon entering the wrestling world is disguise herself as a janitor and beat up a little kid, the Mini Human, then steal his Future’s Championship. Later on that same night we saw her prance into the Battle Royal with those tiny boobs perked like she was something special, exclaiming proudly that she would be entering the battle royal as a team with Ross. She then proceeded to cheat by kicking me in the balls the first chance she got.”
He scoffs derisively upon relieving that moment, then he carries on.
”It’s pretty clear to me that she’s being coddled by the powers that be. They see something special in her. She is a pretty lady. She does have a unique look. She’s also an Olympic level athlete, excelling in gymnastics. They can market her. Perhaps that’s why they’re giving her matches like this, to have someone hold her hand through the baby steps of her career. Or maybe they feel pity for her because of the tragic death of her brother in that car wreck? Verily my foodies, be not afraid. For all I need is one chance, one shot at getting my hands on her. If that happens, I’m grabbing her by her skinny little chicken neck and lifting her so high into the air that her nose will bleed, then driving her so deep into the mat that I could grow a Chelsea tree out of it. She better hope her wrestling skills are better than her brother’s driving skills, otherwise I’m putting her in the ground right next to him.”
Sue Chef scampers up to the podium stuffing the collection money into her bra and pockets.
”Yah Baker baby, that’s all well and good but like I said earlier, you need to be focusing more on Ross Hanson. All Chelsea seems to do is kick people in balls and stuff.”
He peers into the throng of foodies who look upon him with mesmerized gazes and food falling from their gluttonous jowls.
”What say you, my foodies?”
They all shake their heads “yes” in unison.
”Verily, Ross is formidable to a degree, when he wants to be. After all, he did beat the International Champion several months ago. He doesn’t know how to pull the trigger though. What good is a loaded gun if you won’t pull the trigger? He got passed over after that monumental win and he kept his mouth shut. And what did he get for being a good little employee? He got attached to that ankle weight Chelsea Skye, who eliminated him from the battle royal because he was too focused on seeing her succeed that he forewent an easy elimination he could have grabbed himself.”
Sue giggles.
”HAAH! Yanno, I wouldn’t be surprised if one of them accidentally screwed the other over in this match. They already have a track record of it. If Remembrance II is any indication of what they’re capable of as a team, all you might have to do is wait for them to sabotage each other. Oohhhh yeeeeees”
THE OVERBAKER is pleased by her remarks and smiles an evil smile.
”You are wise beyond your years, Sue. Be that as it may be, I cannot afford to look past Ross. He is a decorated MMA warrior. That alone gives me alarm. His professional wrestling pedigree may be lacking since he was trained by the notorious jobberholic Nathan “Raging Dead” Gust, who was brutally murdered by Frank Lowe in Action Wrestling on live television at a pay per view, but that doesn’t mean he’s dish water. Speaking of such, I wonder why Ross hasn’t taken up the path of revenge since Nathan’s wife and his best friend failed to avenge him?”
Sue shrugs her shoulders in a “I don’t know nor give a shit” type of way.
”He was trained by Raging Dead, that’s why. Raging didn’t teach his students how to have a backbone. It matters not, I suppose. He’s not facing Frank Lowe this week. He’s facing me. I know I have my work cut out for me, my loyal foodies, but verily Ross and Chelsea also have their work cut out too. It took six people ganging up on me in the battle royal to try and eliminate me in a combined effort, and they failed. It took Jessie Lee, a phenomenal warrior woman who placed in the final 4, to bring about my elimination and she only did so via a cheap shot as I was destroying that potato Daniel Dream. Fear not, my foodies, for I am come to dish out beatdowns and delicious meals in equal measures. Now, let us continue to feast and then tomorrow we may head to Washington DC for the gruesome gourmet I will make of Ross and Chelsea in the ring.”
He raises his hands into the air as they all chant “OVER - BAKER” and clap clap stomp-stomp-stomp repeatedly. He then swoops his hands down aggressively and it rains down delicious Mountain Dew droplets from the roofless church.
END RP
SOYDOG!
”I TOLD YOU FANS WEEKS AGO…. BEEF FRANKS ONLY!”
As other eliminations happen around him, THE OVERBAKER snatches the soydog from the fan and lectures him about the downsides of eating such a wimpy food. He stomps the soydog to bits under his massive boot then turns to the kitchen Sue Chef had put up outside the ring during their entrance. He and Sue cook up some quick one bite meals as comfort food for each of the eliminations that happen, and give them to the fellow losers as each one heads to the back.
________________________________________________________________
Several Days Later...
Several Days Later...
The scene opens to the inside of an old abandoned church. In place of church pews are long buffet tables with food galore placed upon them. There’s about fifty people there, all ranging in genders and ages from teens to elderly. They mill about taking food into their plates as Sue Chef passes by with a money collection plate. People put money in it as she continues.
Then the deep brooding voice of THE OVERBAKER overcomes the place, having a presence of its own. He stands at the pulpit with a cookbook displayed as his bible.
”Yes my foodies, eat. Eaaaat! I have prepared for you a feast as we head into the anatomical asshole of America, Washington DC, for my battle against a stack of odds that gives pause to your OVERBAKER!”
Yes, verily, THE OVERBAKER has a cult following already, known affectionately as his “foodies”. It began during his debut match and really came on strong at the Remembrance II Battle Royal. The foodies will only grow as he continues his trek through the roster.
”The powers that be have decided I’m too dominant for any one man or woman to take on, so they have sought to make things fair by booking me against a known tag team of Ross Hanson and his popcorn fart girlfriend Chelsea Skye. It’s a handicap match. While I feel flattered over this, I do have concerns. I am only one man. I do have Sue, but she’s not a wrestler so she’s limited in what she can do to even the score. Another thing that concerns me is that I know little of Chelsea Skye. She could be the next great thing - another Maggie Lockheart - or she could be the next Latoya Hixx.”
He takes a moment to mull over the perceived weakest link of the team.
”What I do know of Chelsea is that she’s a fraud. She ‘never cheats’ yet the first thing we saw her do upon entering the wrestling world is disguise herself as a janitor and beat up a little kid, the Mini Human, then steal his Future’s Championship. Later on that same night we saw her prance into the Battle Royal with those tiny boobs perked like she was something special, exclaiming proudly that she would be entering the battle royal as a team with Ross. She then proceeded to cheat by kicking me in the balls the first chance she got.”
He scoffs derisively upon relieving that moment, then he carries on.
”It’s pretty clear to me that she’s being coddled by the powers that be. They see something special in her. She is a pretty lady. She does have a unique look. She’s also an Olympic level athlete, excelling in gymnastics. They can market her. Perhaps that’s why they’re giving her matches like this, to have someone hold her hand through the baby steps of her career. Or maybe they feel pity for her because of the tragic death of her brother in that car wreck? Verily my foodies, be not afraid. For all I need is one chance, one shot at getting my hands on her. If that happens, I’m grabbing her by her skinny little chicken neck and lifting her so high into the air that her nose will bleed, then driving her so deep into the mat that I could grow a Chelsea tree out of it. She better hope her wrestling skills are better than her brother’s driving skills, otherwise I’m putting her in the ground right next to him.”
Sue Chef scampers up to the podium stuffing the collection money into her bra and pockets.
”Yah Baker baby, that’s all well and good but like I said earlier, you need to be focusing more on Ross Hanson. All Chelsea seems to do is kick people in balls and stuff.”
He peers into the throng of foodies who look upon him with mesmerized gazes and food falling from their gluttonous jowls.
”What say you, my foodies?”
They all shake their heads “yes” in unison.
”Verily, Ross is formidable to a degree, when he wants to be. After all, he did beat the International Champion several months ago. He doesn’t know how to pull the trigger though. What good is a loaded gun if you won’t pull the trigger? He got passed over after that monumental win and he kept his mouth shut. And what did he get for being a good little employee? He got attached to that ankle weight Chelsea Skye, who eliminated him from the battle royal because he was too focused on seeing her succeed that he forewent an easy elimination he could have grabbed himself.”
Sue giggles.
”HAAH! Yanno, I wouldn’t be surprised if one of them accidentally screwed the other over in this match. They already have a track record of it. If Remembrance II is any indication of what they’re capable of as a team, all you might have to do is wait for them to sabotage each other. Oohhhh yeeeeees”
THE OVERBAKER is pleased by her remarks and smiles an evil smile.
”You are wise beyond your years, Sue. Be that as it may be, I cannot afford to look past Ross. He is a decorated MMA warrior. That alone gives me alarm. His professional wrestling pedigree may be lacking since he was trained by the notorious jobberholic Nathan “Raging Dead” Gust, who was brutally murdered by Frank Lowe in Action Wrestling on live television at a pay per view, but that doesn’t mean he’s dish water. Speaking of such, I wonder why Ross hasn’t taken up the path of revenge since Nathan’s wife and his best friend failed to avenge him?”
Sue shrugs her shoulders in a “I don’t know nor give a shit” type of way.
”He was trained by Raging Dead, that’s why. Raging didn’t teach his students how to have a backbone. It matters not, I suppose. He’s not facing Frank Lowe this week. He’s facing me. I know I have my work cut out for me, my loyal foodies, but verily Ross and Chelsea also have their work cut out too. It took six people ganging up on me in the battle royal to try and eliminate me in a combined effort, and they failed. It took Jessie Lee, a phenomenal warrior woman who placed in the final 4, to bring about my elimination and she only did so via a cheap shot as I was destroying that potato Daniel Dream. Fear not, my foodies, for I am come to dish out beatdowns and delicious meals in equal measures. Now, let us continue to feast and then tomorrow we may head to Washington DC for the gruesome gourmet I will make of Ross and Chelsea in the ring.”
He raises his hands into the air as they all chant “OVER - BAKER” and clap clap stomp-stomp-stomp repeatedly. He then swoops his hands down aggressively and it rains down delicious Mountain Dew droplets from the roofless church.
END RP
