Post by Frequent Flyer Miles on Nov 4, 2019 18:08:19 GMT -5
'I pinned the Trinity World Champion.
It's been almost two weeks and that still doesn't sound right!
Let's try it again.
I pinned the Trinity World Champion.
Nope. Still not buying it. It's just not the kind of thing that happens to a three-match rookie! You know? It sounds like it would probably happen to some other guy. Somebody famous. Or at least somebody established. But me? Little old Miles Is Gay, from the Armpit of America? Nah. Never gonna happen.
But it did.
And I did.
I pinned the Trinity World Champion.
And now, in two days' time, I have the chance to become the first ever Trinity International Champion.
On the fourth match of my career.
And all I can think about is...'
'...Miles...!'
'...be right with you, Mr. Scalia...all I can think about is, I'm not ready. You know? I'm not good enough. I'm not...'
'...MILES!!!'
WHOA! Jeepers!
'You going to ring that customer up, or you just planning to talk his ear off until he goes away?'
Oh. Yeah. Oops.
'Sorry, Mr. Scalia...and sorry, dude...I just got a little carried away.'
'Nah. You good, man. Saw that match, by the way. And you know what? You did all of the coolest spit out there. I mean, that dive to get that dude's glasses?! Spit was insane, fam! People be GIF'ing the spit outta that. Here, I'll show ya.'
Oh crud. Why's Mr Scalia looking at me like that?
Oh crud. I haven't rung this dude up yet!
'Uh...dude? That'll be $9.57.'
'Oh...yeah. Sure. Here you go, bruh.'
'Thanks. And here's your change.'
OK. Now that that's done...
'Mr. Scalia, is it OK if I take my break now?'
Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say yes.
'Yes.'
Yes!
'Fifteen minutes, though, Miles. Don't you go running off, or forgetting to come back in, or something...'
Very funny, Mr. Scalia.
Anyway...I've got to see what this dude is talking about.
'So is there really a GIF of me doing that dive?'
'Sure is, bruh. Here. Check this spit out!'
...yup, that sure is a GIF of me diving for Mr. D'Angelo's glasses so he can see what's going on.
I'm a GIF.
Holy crap!
'Man...this spit never gets old!'
...it sure hasn't yet...
'Daaaaaaang!''
Yeah...that is pretty impressive.
And that's me doing it.
Me.
Miles.
On Twitter.
As a GIF.
Holy crap.
'By the way, bruh...my sister? Natalie? She digs on you like crazy!'
Wait, what?!
'Your sister?'
'Uh-huh.'
'Really?'
'Uh-huh.'
Dang.
His sister likes me?
His sister?
A girl?
Likes me?
Wants my autograph?
As a fan?
A fan who's a girl?
A fangirl?!
No way!
'Yeah, right, dude. Ha-ha.'
'No...fam...for real. She digs on you. Honest!'
Riiiiight...
''Fact, I'mma bring her round to say hi sometime. Prove to her that I ain't lying. She ain't believe me when I told her just now that yo' butt be ringin' me up at the convenience store. She ain't believe you work a real job.'
A real job? As opposed to what?
'Anyway, bruh. I gotta shoot off. Cool meetin' ya. Keep on doin' that crazy cool spit.'
'Thanks, man. I will.'
'Oh, and good luck with that title spit this week...'
'Thanks, dude. I'm kind'a nervous. I don't think I'm ready yet...'
'Nah. That's bullspit. You ready. Anybody pull a dive like that, they ready.'
I want to believe him. I really do. But...
'Plus, you pinned the World Champion, bruh! Remember that?'
How could I forget!
Even still...
'Nah. You got this, fam!'
I really hope so. I really, really hope so.
'Thanks for believing in me, man.'
'Nah, ain't even a thing, dude. Just make sure, when you win that spit, you dedicate it to my little sister Natalie, y'hear?'
'Not a chance, dude. It's already reserved for my family.'
Oh, good. He didn't take it badly. I'm glad. That could have been awkward if he had kept on insisting.
'Yeah, well...just think of her too, a'ight?'
'All right, bud. I will.'
'Cool. Be safe, bruh.'
Man, that dude was pretty cool. He really made my day, telling me I had fans and stuff. I hope he does bring his sister around, too. I kind of want to sign my first autograph...
'I said fifteen minutes, Miles. Not fifty!'
...oh crap!
'Yes, Mr. Scalia. I was just coming back in.'
'I swear, kid, ever since you been to Ohio, it's like your head is in the clouds or someplace! Anywhere but down here!'
If he only knew...
Still, though...he's right.
My head has been up in the clouds a bit too much lately.
It's time for this Frequent Flyer to come back down to Earth.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Moooooom! I'm home!'
Let's see...close the door...key on the latch...one turn...two turns...
'BRO! BRO!'
...aw, crud!
Wait, did I do one turn, or two?
'Bro! I got an idea for your video!'
Gosh-dang it, Run! Hold on a minute!
'OK...one turn...two turns.'
There.
'Sorry, buddy. I was just making sure the door was locked properly. What were you saying?'
'I got a great idea for your new video! C'mon! I'll show ya!'
'Run, hold up! I gotta...'
'Come on!'
'...I've got to put these groceries away first. Hold on a minute.'
That wasn't too harsh, was it?
Anyway...let's see...bacon...milk...eggs...
'Miles, come on!'
Ugh!
'Run... the more you keep interrupting, the longer this will take, buddy.'
Aha. Now he's got it.
'Anyway...gimme a hand here, bro. Put these on the coffee table in the living room. You know where the bowl is, right?'
'Whoa... Expensive chocolates!?'
'Yeah. They were expiring, and Mr. Scalia was just going to throw them away, so I thought...you know...we could share 'em. Mr. Scalia let me have them for next to nothing.'
'Awesome!'
It sure was. Awesome of Mr. Scalia. He didn't have to do that. He doesn't owe me anything.
'Anyway...sorry, buddy. You were going to tell me your idea for a video...'
...welp, I guess he can't, what with having his mouth full...
'Yush. It'sh uhmuhzun. Cummunh, uh'll shuh uh.'
'You could at least have let me have one... And hey, don't go eating that whole box yourself! Make sure to leave some for Mom and Dad and Farrah!'
He's put the bowl aside. Good.
'Now...are we making a video or what?'
He's smiling. Smiling big. I don't know if I should be excited or scared.
'We sure are, bro. We sure are.'
----------------------------------------------------
'Good morning ladies and gentlemen. Welcome on board Air Way flight 004, destination Glory. My name is Miles A. Way, and I will be your captain today, along with my trusty co-pilot, Captain Runcorn.'
Man, this is so goofy.
I love it.
'Our estimated flight time today will be fifteen to twenty minutes. Please make sure your seatbelts are fastened, trays are in the upright position, and all electronic devices are switched off in preparation for take-off. Our crew will now give a safety demonstration.'
Oh my gosh, Run is actually doing all the hand gestures and stuff!
…I can't laugh. I'm on camera. I can't corpse. I can't corpse. I can't...
...I didn't.
Phew.
'Thank you for your attention. We will now begin take-off procedures. Captain Runcorn, please report to the cockpit.'
Okay...time to get in character. Let's see...aviator shades...Dad's uniform hat...action-man expression..,where's the Switch wheel? Oh, there it is...aaaaand...Captain Miles is ready to fly!
'Takeoff...two thousand feet...three thousand feet...'
I guess we're going to have to greenscreen some stuff behind us in the final video. Otherwise we're going to look pretty stupid, sitting in my bedroom turning a Switch wheel, pretending like we're flying a plane.
Oh well. I guess Run will take care of that with his mad editing skills. I've got to focus on staying in character.
'Ladies and gentleman, this is your Captain speaking. We are currently cruising at 20.000 feet over Russian airspace, and we are pleased to inform, Pasha the Bear's leg is doing just fine! It looks like he is well on the way to mending, and will be back on his feet in no time.'
And I give thanks every single day for that.
'We would also like to report that we will soon be sharing our airspace with aircraft from our distinguished competitors, Action Airlines and Nelson Airways. We may experience some Turbulence as a result of this crowded airspace, so we request that you fasten your seatbelts and hold on to your seats, as this flight could get pretty exciting, pretty quickly!'
Pretty sure a real pilot wouldn't say that – I'm sure Dad wouldn't. But then again, I'm not a real pilot, and this is all for fun, so I guess it's whatever.
'Don't worry, though, ladies and gentlemen. Myself, Captain Miles, and my co-pilot Captain Runcorn are here to make sure you are in safe hands at all times during this flight, and that everything goes according to plan. We thank you again for choosing to fly with Air Way and for joining us in this flight towards Glory. Enjoy your trip. We know we will.'
'Whoooooo! That was crazy awesome!'
I've got to admit – yeah. It was.
'Sure was, buddy! Gimme five!'
High-five...down low...
'...and get outta here!'
'Hey! I wanna see how it came out!'
'You will, buddy. Later. I wanna add something at the end here.'
'Add what? Special FX? 'Cause I can help ya! I got some real great ideas for like, things that could be flying around outside the plane and stuff!'
...actually, that could be a good idea. I've got to remember to hit him up about this later.
'That would be cool, buddy. But it's not special FX. Not yet. I just want to say a couple more things...you know...not as Captain Miles. As myself.'
Uh-oh. I think Run isn't the biggest fan of that idea.
'But whyyyyyy?! That video was epic as it was!'
'I know, buddy. But I need to say this stuff. OK?'
Aw, man! The dude's really bummed about this!
'Hey...tell you what...why don't you take this video and go and edit it...go crazy with all the special FX and stuff...and I'll just make another one with all the boring stuff in it? How 'bout that? That way, we're both happy!'
'Really? And I can do whatever I want with it?'
...uh-oh. Got to tread carefully here.
'Um...sure. But...you know...just reasonable stuff. Jokes and memes and randomness and stuff. No farts, or pee, or blood, or anything like that. Deal?'
'Yeah, whatever....DEAL!'
...aaaaand he's off.
Good job, Miles.
Right. Now that that's settled....it's time to get serious.
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FOR REAL THIS TIME
'Hey, guys. Miles here. And hooo boy, has it been a weird couple of weeks for me!'
Pretty sure that's what's called an understatement...
'Last time I got on here and talked to you guys, I was feeling real low. Real down in the dumps. About the whole Pasha thing, about my place in Trinity, about worrying if I was going to let my team and all of you guys down... Yeah, I wasn't in a real good place.
And then...
...well, then I pinned the Trinity World Champion.'
Nope. It still doesn't sound right!
'Yep. I pinned the Trinity World Champion, and got put into a triple-threat match for a brand new title, on Main Event, at the very next Trinity show. I'm sorry, but does that sound weird to anybody else, or just me?'
I don't think it's just me...or maybe it is. I don't know...
'Anyway...yeah. My fourth real match ever, and I have the chance to become a Champion. Not only that, I get the chance to become the very first Trinity International Champion. Not bad for a guy who calls himself the Frequent Flyer, am I right?'
Heh. That was a good one.
'Anyway, guys...yeah. This is crazy. This is beyond crazy! I mean, two months ago I was just another kid taking bumps in the corner of a gym in the middle of the desert...working at a grocery store to pay back his student loans...walking to work because his car won't start half the time...and now, look at me. Going out there every week in front of everybody. Getting matches on Pay-Per-View. Matches on Main Event. Matches for freaking titles. And all the while, I'm over here thinking, why me? You know? Why Miles A. Way? Why the kid from the sticks who hasn't even finished wrestling school yet? Do I really deserve this? Am I really ready for it? And what if I win on Tuesday? Do I got what it takes to be a good Champion? You know what I mean?'
I hope they do. And I hope they get it.
'And I know what you guys are going to say. 'Of course you're ready, stupid. You pinned the World Champion!' 'If you weren't ready, you wouldn't be in that match!' 'You're 0-3, kid, stop whining and man up!' That last one was my Coach, by the way. Hey, Joe!'
Was that wave too goofy?
Aw, what the heck. Too late to go back now.
'And see...I know all that. I know you're probably all right. Heck, I know even if I don't win, this is a huge landmark for my career. The kind of stuff you put on your CV when you get to be a veteran. But still...guys...it's me. Miles. Miles from school. Miles from next door. Miles the second-string midfielder on the soccer team. I'm not exactly the kind of guy you see holding a major belt in a promotion like Trinity. I'm not a big muscular guy like Mr. Jackson, or a strong independent fighting woman like Ms Nelson. I'm just a kid. A regular twenty-one-year-old suburban kid from the Armpit of America. I don't talk like a Champion. I don't act like a Champion. I sure as heck don't look like a Champion. And yet...in just a couple of days...I could well be a Champion.
And that scares me.'
...should I have said that? Maybe I shouldn't have said that...
...oh well. Too late.
'Yeah. That scares me. Not fighting Mr. Jackson or Ms. Nelson – though I've got to admit, making the winning team fight between themselves is a bit weird. But hey, whatever, I guess it's a reward for all three of us. And at least this time, I know Mr. Jackson and Ms. Nelson are going to fight fair and give their best, and that no matter who wins, we're going to show the rest of the roster that we belong on Main Event. No, that's not what I'm scared of. What I'm scared of...is myself.'
Hooo boy. It's that time of the week. Time for some real talk in front of everybody.
'See, I've never been in a situation like that. I've never had that kind of pressure on my shoulders. So all I keep thinking about is...what if I can't take it? What if let it get to me? Or even worse, what if I turn out not to be what everybody thought I was? What if I'm just a flash in the pan? What if I lose the title straight away after I win it? How is that going to make the title look, to have the first-ever Champion be a flake and a loser?'
Man...just thinking about it is getting me bummed all over again. Maybe this wasn't such a hot idea.
Then again, I'm not done yet...
'But then, after I'm done feeling scared and nervous and having Imposter Syndrome, I start thinking about it again. And I realize – you guys are right. Maybe I am just overthinking it. Maybe I am just in my own head. Because you know what? I did pin the Trinity World Champion, clean in the middle of the ring. And I did win the match for my team. And I did have GIFs made on the Internet, of that dive I took for Mr. D'Angelo's glasses. And all that on my third ever match. And if I was good enough to accomplish all that on my third ever match...what the heck am I scared of? If I was good enough to accomplish all that on my third ever match...who knows what I can accomplish on my fourth! Or my tenth! Or my fiftieth!'
...yeah. That always helps.
'So I've made up my mind. I'm not going to back away from this chance just 'cause I'm scared of what might happen. On the contrary. On Tuesday, there won't be any fear. There won't be any doubt. There won't be any second-guessing. On Tuesday, I'm going to take my chance, and I'm going to run with it. And whatever happens...whatever comes after...I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. For now, I'm going to assume the worst, and hope for the best. Because after all...what else can you ask for from a four-match rookie?'
Whoo boy. That was a long one. How long was I talking for?
...Jeepers! I hope I don't bore everyone stupid!
Still, though...I needed that. That felt really freaking good. I'll just ask Run to edit it a bit and...
Run!
I left him alone all this time.
With our video.
And free reign.
…..............oh crap.
FINAL WORD COUNT: 2.876
FINAL WORD COUNT: 2.876