Post by Frequent Flyer Miles on Oct 14, 2019 13:32:20 GMT -5
'All right, break it up!'
...aw man, is it over already?!
Too bad. That was a really good class. I feel like I learned heaps. But when do I ever NOT feel like that? Joe really knows his stuff!
'Hold on, hold on...don't nobody go takin' off just yet. Huddle up.'
We're huddling up? After class? I wonder why. I guess Joe has something he wants to tell us. Maybe he's got somebody a try-out or something. Yeah – that's probably it. Man, I hope it's Josh. Dude deserves it.
'What's up, Coach?' And speaking of Josh... It just HAD to be him who asked.
'Don't worry, boys. It's nothin' major.'
...well, I guess nobody DID get a try-out, then.
...but then why does Joe have that look in his eye?
'Nah, it's nothin' major. I just wanted to bring all you boys together so we could congratulate our newest major-league superstar.'
Uh-oh.
'That's right. Some of you may have heard one of us guys got signed on to a real company, right here in Vegas. Not a try-out, not a dark match, an actual gosh-darned contract!'
...Ididn'thearthatIdidn'thearthatIdidn'thearthat. Man, why does Joe always gotta swear so much?
...wait, and why's everybody looking at me all of a sudden?
'So I want you all to join me in giving a round of applause to our Miles here, who made it to the big time!'
'Aw, Joe! You guys! You don't have to... Please don't...'
...aw, man! Now I'm blushing!
'And as a special reward for having made it through his first real match without fudging up too much...' Gosh-dang it, Joe! '...we're going to watch his video and criticize the spit out of his performance!'
Gosh-darn it, J---
---wait, what?!
...oh no.
Oh, nonononono.
'Joe---'
Too late. It's playing. And everybody's looking at it.
'Now, you see how his opponent's a lot smaller than he is? And a girl?' Aw, Joe, please don't do this! 'And yet, you're gonna see here in a minute...our Miles starts off on the back foot against this person. Against a girl.'
I don't see how her being a girl has anything to do with it. She was more experienced than me, Joe, c'mon now!
'Now, you ask me WHY that happened, or HOW that happened, and I gotta tell you I don't know. Maybe our Miles is just a gentleman. Or maybe he's a snowflake. Either way, seems to me he ain't too hot on hitting girls...'
C'mon, Joe, seriously? Are you seriously going to go th---
'...even when that's what he's being paid to do, and what he's supposed to do in the first place.'
---OK, he got me there.
'I'm not used to wrestling women, Joe. It's all guys in here--'
'---shhshhhshhhshhhush, Prince Charming. It's my turn to talk.' OK, that's fair, I guess. 'This ain't about what are and ain't used to. This is about you putting on a pair of gosh-darned blinkers every time you go in the ring!'
Jeepers, Joe, enough with the language already!
'Now, look at that...right there. That's the first time you manage to get something going in the match...and what the heck do you do? You start doin' flips! And she cancels you right back out again, and takes over!'
….yeah, I guess he's right. I did think about that some.
'And yeah, you get yourself out of that too, but guess what? You go straight back to the gosh-darned flips!' Joe, seriously, stop it! 'And d'you know why that is?! 'Cause them gosh-darned flips are all you fudging got! That's all you fudging know how to do, is jump off the gosh-darned ropes! You're a gosh-darn one trick pony! You got no backup game! No plan B! No nothin'!'
...I ain't even bothering anymore. He wants to cuss up a storm, let him.
'And lemme tell you, kid - you may feel pretty good right now. In fact you prob'ly do. But if you keep on relying on just one type of game this dang much, it ain't gonna end well for you. I can tell you that right now.'
....yyyyeah. I guess I had that one coming.
Still, it wasn't so bad – at least he didn't yell too much or anything---
'All right, boys, make room!'
Make room? What are we doing? Wasn't class finished?
Oh well, maybe Joe wants to do a demonstration for me or somethiiiii---
'---YYYYAAAAAAARGH!!!'
'Get out of it, kid! C'mon! Get out of it!'
---aaaargh it hurts can't think need to think---
'C'mon, hotshot! You're a professional now! You should be able to counter a lock from your old teacher!'
---wait--I--know--I could---that's it--up and over---!
OK---one---two---
'NNNNNNNRRRRGGAAAAAHHH!!!'
'Nice try, kid. But I'm grabbing on too tight for that. You had the right idea, but your opponent had you scouted. And now your one gameplan that you had is off the table. So what you gonna do? How you gonna get out of this?'
—dang—really--thought--and now I can't---I don't---know---how---
---wait---actually---maybe if I---go low---like THAT---!!!
'NNNYAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!'
'WHOOOOOOOOA NELLY!'
-----that----
----that---worked---
---I'm---
--free---
---I'm---
'Heads up, kid! Comin' at'cha!'
---wait--
--what---?
---
--oh cr--
'UUUUUNNNNGGGHHHH!!!'
---OK---I was NOT ready for that one--
---whiiiiich I guess was the whole point of Joe doing that.
Yeah. Score one for the Coach.
'OK, Joe. You got me. Lesson learned.'
'Good. I always said you're one of the smart ones.' That IS good, I guess... 'In fact, that was some pretty smart plannin' on the fly back there. You were in a tough situation, and you found a way out of it. That's pretty darn good. Tells me you're not that far off getting where you need to be. You just need to work on rounding out your style. Doing more than just flips all the gosh-darn time.You do that, you're gonna be just fine.'
Well...that's encouraging to hear, I guess. At least he didn't bite my head off like he did with Seth that time.
Anyway---now class really is over. Time to hit the showers and go home. And man, I can't freaking wait to be home. I'm pooped! Good thing I don't have anything else to do today...
'Oh, yeah---Miles?'
...well, except listen to what else Joe has to tell me before I get to go home, I guess.
'Yeah, Joe?'
'I forgot one thing. One thing you gotta work on to improve as well.'
Oh crud, another one? I wonder what it is...
'What's that, Joe?'
WAIT, WHAT---
'UNNNGGGHHHH!!!!'
---what--he---hit me--?
--and he's-smiling--?
--what---the---?
'Awareness, kid. You gotta work on your awareness.'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
'What's up, guys! This is your boy Miles, coming at you live from Starbucks, 'cause hey – it's pumpkin spice latte season. No shame!'
No shame is right – this drink is freaking delicious!
In fact, think I'm gonna shout out the barista real quick.
'And hey, before we get any further into this video, I just wanna shout out my man Jordan, who made this freaking AMAZING drink for me. He's right there behind the counter---'
---and---turning his back on me.
Oops.
'Well, I guess he's too busy to be featured in our video. But, y'know – big ups to him for making one delicious PSL!'
And that's no lie!
Anyway—on to the important stuff.
'But I bet it's not my coffee you're interested in. I bet you want to know about this, right? The black eye? Well, my instructor wanted to teach me a lesson about reflexes. Congratulations, Joe. Lesson learned.'
OK – enough waffling. Time to get to the point.
'Just kidding – I know you're not that interested in that, either. What you really want to know about is the Mystery Prize match I got coming up in a few days, against Pasha, am I right? And yeah, we'll get to that in a sec. There's just a couple things I want to say before that.'
Oh boy---time to show butt.
'First of all, to my very first opponent ever – I'm sorry. I'm sorry for assuming your gender. That was dumb of me, and wrong. I deserved to get beat just for that. I'm glad I didn't, but yeah...I still felt pretty bad. So... I promise it won't happen again, and I'll be more careful from now on – with you, or with anybody else. OK?'
Hey, that wasn't so bad – actually, it felt pretty darn good to get it off my chest!
'And speaking of being careful...guess who wasn't paying enough attention to know the show wasn't in Vegas?...yeah, that's right. Ya boy. Miles the Moron. Imagine the look on my face when I'm sitting at home a couple of days before the show, messing around on Fortnite and stuff, and my sister has to be the one to tell me the show is in freaking Tennessee, and I got to get my butt over there or I'll miss it! Yeah...that wasn't my best moment.'
...yeah, that still makes me cringe.
'Still, though – at least I can laugh about it now. And hey – at least I know better than to make dumb mistakes like that anymore. I mean, can you imagine me coming in to face Pasha on Tuesday, in freakin' Madison Square Garden, live on Pay-Per-View...jet-lagged and thinking he was a girl?!'
Oh crap – I can't laugh – I can't -
--- I laughed.
Oh well.
'Sorry, guys... But yeah, that wouldn't have worked. I would have gotten flattened, and I would have known perfectly well why.
Good thing this time, I'm one thousand percent ready.'
Did that sound convincing?
Yeah, I guess it did.
Anyway...time to change the subject.
'But enough about me. Let's talk about Pasha. The Russian Bear. Lotso Huggles Bear, that is.'
Hey – that was a good one, man. I got jokes!
'Yeah. Pasha. The big Russian who likes to go around hugging everybody. I'm not gonna lie – when I first came in and started seeing who all was in this place, he was one of the guys I wanted to face the most. Something about him just got me hype...you know? And now here we are, not even a month later, on my second show in...and I get to do just that. On Pay-Per-View, no less. Li'l Miles against Big Pasha. The old David and Goliath story. I should have been hype for this, right?
Well, I'm not.'
Right. Time for some real talk.
'That's right. I'm not as hype as I was when this match was announced a couple of weeks ago. And you want to know why? Because I know Pasha isn't. I know Pasha would probably like it better if we left him alone, and didn't force him to get in the ring and face a two-match rookie, live on Pay-Per-View. I mean, that would be embarrassing enough for him on a normal day, if that was all he got to do on a freaking Pay-Per-View...but in the mindset he's been in? It could literally do more harm than good. So Pasha...if you just wanna hug it out on Tuesday, instead of having a match, I'm fine with that. 'Course, if you want to fight, I'm down for that too.'
Hold up, I gotta take one last sip of this.
Aaaaaahhhhh.
Amazing.
Too bad there isn't any left...
Oh well. Onwards!
'Thing is, Pasha... I kind of know what's been going on with you. You've been going through some stuff. And I want to say, dude, right off the bat - if you need to talk to somebody, hit ya boy up. I'll always find the time to help you. OK?'
I mean that, too!
'Know why that is, Pasha? It's because I don't like to see you like that. Like how you've been lately. Down in the dumps. Doubting yourself. Now, I'm not even going to pretend to know how you feel, but dude, I can tell you this...there's a lot of people out there that don't care what kind of crud goes on in your life. A lot of people out there who just want to see you happy. Who just want to see you be yourself. Not for them, but for you. Because they want you to feel good. Those people don't care if you turn into The Hulk tomorrow – in fact, they'd like you just as well if you were green. Because they'd know that inside, you were still the same old Pasha, giver of great hugs – even radioactive ones. I'm one of those people. And I'm far from the only one.'
Again – no lie.
'So again – if you want somebody to talk to, hit me up. If you want to just hug it out on Tuesday, we can do that, too. I'll do whatever it takes to help you turn that frown upside down.'
Actually...I'm lying. There IS one thing...
'Well, anything but throw this match on purpose.'
...yeah. Better.
'See...I could do that. I could just let you beat me up and pin me. But I have this feeling that wouldn't really make you happy. I have this feeling that if I just stood there and took a beating, you'd be more disappointed in me than proud of yourself. I could be wrong, of course...but somehow, I don't think I am. Somehow, I think that when me and you go out there on Tuesday, in the home of wrestling, in front of thousand of people...you don't want me to just stand there and look like a chump. So I won't. When we go out there on Tuesday, in Madison Square Garden, I'm going to give you the very best I got. For myself, for my family, for all of the fans who cared enough to buy a ticket and be there in person...but most of all, for you. Because you deserve my best. Because I want to make you proud. Because if this really is your goodbye, I want you to go out on a high note.
Because I care about you, Pasha.
Even if you don't.'
...and with that, I think I'm going to get another pumpkin spice latte. One for the road. I swear, they put crack cocaine in this stuff or something! And I might see if they have an ice pack, too, while I'm at it. Try to get this swelling to go down.
Joe hits freaking hard, man!
Final Word Count: 2,394